


Room 107

by Gigi_Bell



Series: ABO/Wolf [23]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Childhood Friends, Cute Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Hospitalization, Hospitals, M/M, Medical Conditions, Medical Procedures, Mutual Pining, Sick Byun Baekhyun, True Love, True Mates, Writer Park Chanyeol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:48:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29346900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi_Bell/pseuds/Gigi_Bell
Summary: Baekhyun has been stuck in the hospital for the past year. He just wants to experience life outside of mint colored walls again.Chanyeol just wants him to get better.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Series: ABO/Wolf [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055228
Comments: 95
Kudos: 153





	1. About Baekhyun

**Author's Note:**

> This work is solely mine, I do not allow stories to be posted on any other site, and any translations that are done will be posted here on my own page, I don’t allow my works to be posted under any other accounts.

Chanyeol first met Baekhyun in middle school. 

He'd been thirteen and his parents had just moved because his dad got a new job.

Baekhyun used to have this silly smile that looked like a rectangle, it made Chanyeol laugh when he first saw him smile.

He also had these chubby cheeks and the appetite of a full grown adult, he used to eat anything people put out in front of him, and they used to have eating competitions on the weekends and Baekhyun _always_ won. 

That was mostly because everyone pretended to give up,because Baekhyun always put this soft pout on his face when he lost, and it made everyone feel bad. 

But that was okay, because Baekhyun never knew they gave up on purpose.

They’d been normal kids back then - running around on their bicycles, complaining about homework, and even sneaking out past curfew with their friends to go to midnight movies.

With Baekhyun everything felt livelier.

He laughed so loud it used to fill classrooms, he always had a million and one things to say, he never had a problem with saying what was on his mind no matter how odd it was, and Baekhyun was the self proclaimed group mother of them all. 

And then, Baekhyun got sick.

When they entered high school, things became more apparent to Chanyeol that something was going on with Baekhyun.

The omega had always been small, it was a fact, he just never gained any weight no matter how much he ate - Chanyeol used to be jealous of that, because he used to be chubby when they were younger and had gotten teased for having these big cheeks.

But when they were sixteen and in gym class, Chanyeol remembered overhearing the teacher tell Baekhyun that he was underweight and wouldn’t pass the class being this thin.

He only realized then that Baekhyun looked sickly; prior to that moment he hadn’t really noticed it, he was just so used to seeing Baekhyun that it didn’t occur to him that the omega was probably a hundred ten pounds soaking wet. 

And then more flags were thrown up when Baekhyun couldn’t keep up with physical activities. 

His face would get so red when running, and the omega would drop himself to the ground in the middle of the track to struggle for air. 

Chanyeol always had to run back over and pick him up off the track because it wasn’t a normal pant. It sounded like he couldn’t breathe.

Chanyeol grew scared the first time he picked him up from the track and Baekhyun didn’t even have the strength to grab his shirt, he felt like deadweight on his chest.

The gym teacher always reported the incidents to the school, demanding someone contact his parents to take him to the doctor. She thought Baekhyun was getting abused.

That wasn’t true, their friend group always spent a lot of time at Baekhyun’s house because his parents worked _a lot._

But now that Chanyeol thought about it, he supposed in a way Baekhyun had been neglected.

They told Baekhyun that it was probably just asthma; his parents never took him to the hospital.

It was the first regret Baekhyun’s parents had, and Chanyeol tried to understand that the omega’s parents never had much money.

Everytime they went out to play, or when they would hang out at a fast food joint late at night, Baekhyun didn’t have money, not because his parents didn’t care to give him any, they just couldn’t afford to.

They shared food with him instead of asking if he was going to order. 

Everyone would order large amounts of food and then dump all the fries out on a tray and have a stack of free for all burgers; nobody said it directly, but it was so Baekhyun didn’t feel left out watching everyone have their own separate trays of food.

It felt easier to think about times like back then, when Baekhyun would tell the _worst_ jokes, ramble about some show nobody cared about, and steal Chanyeol's soda from him.

Because not too long later, things went downhill _again._

Chanyeol could still remember the amount of fear that filled him when Baekhyun was rushing down the stairs to meet them for lunch, people zoomed right past him without any sign of a struggle - it was just _stairs_ after all.

For Baekhyun it wasn’t. He was so short of breath all the time that in his rush down he’d gotten winded.

Then something went horribly wrong.

Baekhyun turned _blue._

It was a memory of school that stuck out the most, because Chanyeol had never seen such a thing before - he didn’t think it was possible - but Baekhyun went slumping against the bottom step the second he got to it.

The rest was a blur. He remembered their homeroom teacher coming down the stairs behind him leaning down to check on Baekhyun, but he’d been tugging on his chest and clutching at the fabric.

She’d yelled for someone to call an _ambulance._

Nobody would let him close. Chanyeol remembered _yelling_ and _sobbing_ for them to let him check on Baekhyun.

He didn’t get to know what happened until Baekhyun called him from the hospital nearly a week later. 

Chanyeol hadn’t slept or gone to school that entire week, he’d been too worried. His parents let him, because they knew how much Baekhyun meant to him.

Baekhyun meant the _most_ to him after all.

The alpha knew Baekhyun was his mate the second he turned fifteen. 

It was around this time when instincts heightened to their full potential, but some part of Chanyeol had always known it was the omega. 

It was an overwhelming sense of _content_ when he found out on his fifteenth birthday; all Baekhyun had done was smile and push the door to his house open yelling, _“It's Yeollie’s birthday! Happy birthday, happy birthday!”_ He screamed happy birthday with all the energy in the world. 

Chanyeol was overwhelmed with adoration that he’d always had for Baekhyun, only then it was heightened tenfold, confirming what he’d thought. 

Byun Baekhyun was his mate.

After the incident with the ambulance, Baekhyun called him from the hospital saying he was _dying._

He wasn’t really. Baekhyun was always known to be a bit of a pessimist, but his condition was severe no matter how much Chanyeol tried to convince himself it probably wasn’t as bad as the omega said. 

It was bad. He couldn’t convince himself otherwise considering Baekhyun said he needed _surgery._

A sixteen year old needed heart surgery. That sounded _insane_ to Chanyeol. And Baekhyun needed it badly.

Ventricular septal defect was something that people considered common. Apparently, as Chanyeol had learned, Baekhyun had a hole between two pumping chambers of the heart, it caused his heart to work harder than most people’s.

Most of these cases closed up on their own, when people are young, but Baekhyun’s was _severe._ He needed it closed up with open heart surgery, something _expensive._

His parents couldn’t afford it right away. 

Baekhyun came back to school and his parents went to work twice as much.

Chanyeol began to see Baekhyun twice as much too, because he wasn’t allowed to be home by himself in case something happened, Baekhyun didn’t want to be alone either, so he jumped houses a lot while his parents worked.

None of their friends' parents minded at all, and it even came to the point where their parents would meet up and discuss how to contribute to get Baekhyun the surgery. 

Kyungsoo’s mom worked for the government, she immediately began searching for any way they could have the government fund his cause, but as with anything having to do with the government, it took a long time to get anything done.

Baekhyun’s parents were desperate, so they accepted any help that was offered even if it was from other parents. They started campaigning, and their high school even had a huge car wash to raise awareness for VSD.

It was the only time Chanyeol saw Baekhyun look less afraid of what was going to happen to him. He had hope, because they raised so much money.

It still wasn’t enough. 

Baekhyun spent most of high school confined to seats. He didn’t get to go to prom, he didn’t get to join the swim team like he always wanted, and he didn’t get to learn how to drive.

The most he got was sitting in the bleachers and shaking a flag for his friends on the soccer team. And the day of prom Chanyeol picked him up with his brand new license and took him to the drive in instead. 

Neither of them mentioned that it was prom night and all of their friends were likely dancing and having fun.

They just had to have fun in other ways. Ones that weren’t quite as physically demanding and that didn’t exhaust Baekhyun.

Baekhyun walked the stage at graduation. 

The entire stadium clapped for him, but he didn’t smile because he felt so anxious. 

The next day they didn’t get to celebrate being eighteen and out of high school, because Baekhyun finally got his surgery. 

He had a scar that ended up all the way down his chest, the doctor said everything went well, and Baekhyun spent a week there to recover before he was sent home.

That summer Baekhyun told him that he felt better, that he didn’t feel that racing of his heart anymore, he was positive that everything went fine.

He didn’t tell Chanyeol that his parents hadn’t been able to afford his second round of antibiotics and Baekhyun felt too guilty to ask them to get it for him considering they’d spent the past two years funding his surgery.

Chanyeol wished he would have just _told_ him, because then everything could have been avoided. He would have bought that medicine for him within an hour. He had the money, he had a _job._ Chanyeol wouldn’t have cared that the medication would have cost him upwards of two hundred dollars.

It was for Baekhyun, so it was worth it. 

It would have saved him from the relapse that occured and put Baekhyun in the hospital when he was nineteen. So soon after the surgery, and now things were _worse_ than before. 

Baekhyun hadn’t taken his medicine correctly, his body got used to the antibiotics from the incorrect usage of his prescription, so when bacteria worked its way into his system he developed endocarditis.

Endocarditis was inflammation of the heart lining, and due to all of the complications occurring on _top_ of his antibiotic resistance, Baekhyun had been in the hospital for over a year now receiving any treatments the doctors could try seeing as a second open heart surgery wasn’t an option, it would put way too much strain on Baekhyun’s thin body.

Things just weren’t fair. They were never fair to Baekhyun. 

His twentieth birthday came and went, his twenty first was coming up, and it would be spent in the hospital.

Because Baekhyun was a permanent resident now. At least until his condition got better.

But it never did. It always went downhill at the speed of a rollercoaster dropping only to plateau for a small while. 

But it never got _better._

***

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol gave one knock to the cracked hospital door before sliding in. “Baek, I’m late. I’m sorry.” 

The alpha was still rubbing excess hand sanitizer between his hands as he walked in. He had a canvas bag on his shoulder and felt guilty that he was an hour late to lunch because Baekhyun probably ate already.

Baekhyun had a very strict diet, and the hospital tended to serve the same things over and over again.

It was tiring for someone who spent a year in the hospital. Eating the same meals every few weeks.

Everyone of their friends made sure Baekhyun had new things to eat, but most of the time they would buy snacks that weren’t what Baekhyun was allowed to have.

Baekhyun could only have a certain amount of sugars a day, he couldn’t have a lot of fatty foods, and he rarely got to have red meat. But if it was for his health, the omega was willing to listen to the diet.

After all, he could still have things like sugary cereals, white bread, and a fatty cut of steak, but in _moderation._

It was just something he had to do to protect his heart and make good choices for his health.

The type of diet Baekhyun had to have was expensive - he had to have lots of fruit, lean meats, vegetables, and he was obsessed with these nature made brownie bars that just _barely_ passed his doctors approval. 

But Chanyeol splurged on these expensive foods anyway. Everyday he bought Baekhyun at _least_ one meal from an all natural restaurant around the corner from his own house, but he didn’t mind.

He'd spent $100 a day just on food if Baekhyun wanted it. He had the money for it.

“Hey,” Chanyeol mumbled, putting the canvas bag of Tupperware down beside the hospital bed. 

He was a bit paranoid about germs and Baekhyun interacting with too many things others have touched, so he always moved the food into his _own_ Tupperware containers where he knew they had been sanitized and steamed properly in the dishwasher. 

“Don't be upset, I brought your favorite.” He requested, leaning over to the hospital bed to wrap his arms around Baekhyun’s thin shoulders.

After a minute, Baekhyun sighed and hugged him back, the plastic band around his wrist itched a bit at the back of Chanyeol’s neck, but he was used to it.

 _“Thought you weren’t coming…”_ Baekhyun mumbled into his coat.

“As _if.”_ Chanyeol snickered and gave a pet to the back of his head before pulling away very reluctantly. “I told you I would come everyday, little duck.” 

Baekhyun laughed at the nickname, as he tended to do when people mentioned it. 

He got that nickname when they were young, because he proclaimed himself the mother duck and told them all to _follow me!_ everytime they walked to the park, as if he needed them all in a line to waddle behind him.

It caused so much teasing seeing as Baekhyun was the smallest of them _all,_ so they began to make nicknames that Baekhyun hated originally. Things like _Bambi, bunny,_ and even _little one_ and everyone got a kick out of his angry pout. 

But after the years they just stuck and Baekhyun grew to love them, he responded to them like they were his name in the same way that Junmyeon always responded when they jokingly called him _mom_ when he scolded them.

“Visitation ends at four today,” Baekhyun complained, shifting to sit properly on his bed. He had to remove some of the stuffed animals out of the way, but he tossed his legs off the side and was so used to the IV’s in his arm that he didn’t flinch anymore when he yanked them a bit. “Soo came by today.” 

Chanyeol hummed and eyed the bruises on Baekhyun’s legs for a moment. He was still so thin. It was one of the main issues having to do with all the medication the doctors kept trying.

His cheeks were hollow and eyes sunken with dark circles around them, and he bruised easily, but Chanyeol knew the doctors were doing all they could.

It was just frustrating seeing as Baekhyun was _always_ sick. If it wasn’t a new medication they were giving him that was making him sick it was a complication from endocarditis.

Baekhyun just never got a _break._

At least Baekhyun finally got his own room now, it still had the same gross mint colored wallpapers and the same hard bed, but he had privacy now.

Baekhyun had teddy bears, letters, and even pictures in his room. He had a lot of things like stacks of dvds to watch and an emergency cell phone.

Cell phones weren’t supposed to be used in the hospital, but sometimes Baekhyun sent him messages when visiting hours were over; he just got so lonely.

“Have you been running around and getting into stuff again?” 

“I just tripped in the quad on a walk last night.” 

“And?” 

Baekhyun sighed and scratched the inside of his wrist nervously, “I had to call my nurse for help because I ripped my IV out...” 

_“Bunny…”_ Chanyeol huffed, eyes scolding as he spared Baekhyun a glance before he was pulling two Tupperware’s out of his bag. 

He didn’t need to scold Baekhyun too much, the omega knew when too much was too much and normally learned his lesson fast. But _sometimes_ it took him a few days of thinking about why he shouldn’t do it again. 

Walking around and trying to escape his nurses for a little was one of those things Baekhyun had to think multiple times about. He just wanted independence, but Chanyeol would take him being followed than keep getting hurt _any_ day.

That wasn’t his choice to make though, it was Baekhyun’s. 

“I didn’t eat breakfast.”

Chanyeol's head snapped up in a second, a scowl taking over his face, “What do you mean you didn’t eat breakfast?” 

“They made that oat stuff again.” Baekhyun scrunched his nose up in disgust, “Fourth time this week.” 

_“Damn it, Baek..”_ The alpha growled under his breath, removing the lid from one of the Tupperware’s to give over. Good thing he ordered a full sized meal today, normally Baekhyun couldn’t even finish a half meal. “You have to promise me to try and eat it anyway.” 

“But I don’t like it.” 

“You also don’t like being _sick.”_ Chanyeol pointed out, “And _I_ don’t like you being sick, and you know how you’re going to feel better? Gaining some weight. Baekhyun.. you heard your doctor, they aren’t even going to consider doing another surgery because you’re too thin, and if they do it now you _will_ die. This isn’t up for debate, you’re eating.” 

“I feel like _shit_ all the time anyway. This is all _bullshit,_ I can’t gain weight even when I try to,” Baekhyun hissed. 

When he got worked up he began to wring his gown between his hands and this was no different, except Chanyeol hated when he did that because he never meant to upset him.

Only tell him the _truth._

“I’ll bring you breakfast.” Chanyeol laid a hand over his angry fiddling. His entire hand could hold both of Baekhyun’s wrists in his palm so _easily,_ it scared him. “I’ll bring you those muffins you like and I’ll put them in your fridge so when they bring you the oatmeal you can eat that _instead,_ okay? But that’s the deal, I want you to eat the fruit they bring with the oatmeal and a muffin. None of your _I’m not hungry_ comments, okay?” 

“But…” 

“No. That’s the deal yes or _no?”_

Baekhyun clicked his tongue and turned his hand over to hold Chanyeol's palm, “Will you bring me more honey chips too.. I ate them all…” 

Chanyeol snickered, but his shoulders relaxed and he leaned over to place Baekhyun’s chicken salad down on the bed before gathering him in a hug. “I’ll let you make a grocery list. But first you’re going to eat all of your salad. I asked for extra dressing just like you like.” 

_“Can you bring me something with fries tomorrow? I really miss them…”_

The alpha chuckled, although it was slightly tearful because he could feel Baekhyun’s spine pressing into his arm, and the omega who _should_ smell like peaches just smelled like medicine.

Baekhyun always only ever smelled like medicine these days. 

“I’m sure I can find something that can work with your diet.”

“I’m really sorry I’m such a hassle, Yeol..” 

“You know I never _ever_ think you’re a hassle, Bambi. Not even for a second.” 


	2. About Chanyeol

Chanyeol was a writer, and a pretty popular one at that. 

It all started when they were young. 

He used to write all these crazy stories about them all going on adventures, about spaceships and fighting aliens.

Fantasy was always the genre he went for, because why write about real life when he could write about a universe so much _better_ than the real world. 

It was a hobby. He used to sit at his desk after class and type on his computer because he thought it was fun. Chanyeol even had a list of ideas he had and he’d sit and brainstorm with his friends at lunchtime to discuss them. 

Everyone had supported him, but none of them knew what sort of future writing could give him. It wasn’t exactly a skill he could use unless it was to write boring newspapers or magazine articles.

That wasn’t his style. His style was having a world where flowers floated, or one where people had different colored hair, because it seemed so much cooler than real life. 

When he was fifteen he entered his alien inspired short story into a writing contest at school. He hadn’t anticipated it would go far, but it _did._

He'd gotten second place, not first because the winner was amazing that year with her story of people with tails. 

Chanyeol tried again when the competition came two years later.

He had spent that entire year with Baekhyun, and because of that his story took a dark turn; there was something so _painful_ about it that nobody expected from a seventeen year old. 

But it was all due to Baekhyun that Chanyeol had the courage to dive so deep into a world of unfairness. 

Because he’d spent the year typing his story with Baekhyun’s heavy breathing in the background, and it reminded him how cruel things could be - and how they would _always_ be that way, no matter what world they were in. There would always be some form of unfairness.

So he wrote it down.

He wrote down the feeling he got when Baekhyun jolted awake with a hiss and grabbed his chest when he got a flare up of chest pain. 

Chanyeol wrote when he worried over Baekhyun’s wheeze-like breathing, or he jotted down ideas on the corner of his notebook while he gave his homework answers over to the omega because Baekhyun was too exhausted some days to even stay awake for one class.

The second time Chanyeol entered the competition he _won._ Baekhyun hadn’t been there. He wasn’t able to make it to the writing exhibition because it was in the capitol, two hours away, and that was just too far for him considering that week he’d been having bouts of breathlessness. 

Chanyeol didn’t mind, his parents recorded everything and he got to show his gold medal to everyone at school.

But what he won from that was _huge._

A publishing company somehow took interest in his short story. It was first released as it was, a short story, but due to high demand Chanyeol had turned it into a book.

It was published a few months ago and Chanyeol was already working on a sequel, but it was difficult to find time to write when he spent all day at the hospital and then stayed up all night to get a few paragraphs to his editor. 

He didn’t go to college like the others; he was making way more than enough money as is. But that also gave him so much more time to see Baekhyun.

It also made Baekhyun pretty sensitive and reliant on his visits, because he knew Chanyeol had more time than everyone else, so he leeched on from the second he stepped through the door to the second nurses told him visitation was up.

He knew Chanyeol had nothing else he’d rather be doing than spending time with him.

They spent a lot of time reading Chanyeol's book, but always in short sessions because Baekhyun couldn’t stay up for that long, he got fatigued fast.

It was a story about a boy who was gifted with powers, his name was Koha. Koha was born into an unfair society where people with powers were put to work by the government for various needs and worked to death. 

Similar to how Baekhyun told Chanyeol once, right after surgery, that he felt like he’d been worked to death from all the effort he put into trying to wake up everyday. 

“The boy with the light wondered aloud if he would be subjected to the same fate as the elder power holders, he wondered quietly what use light was in a world that called for strength. _“Surely they have no use for someone so weak…”_ Koha whispered, his voice was full of contempt. He was only fifteen and stripped of his life in the blink of an eye. 

_Isn’t that unfair?_ He asked himself as he looked through the glass window that separated people like him from people considered normal. _“How can people go on living a normal life knowing there is a place people are forced to go simply because there is something wrong with them?”_ Koha decided there was no such thing as fairness, because at the end of the day he was seen as someone-“

Chanyeol cut himself off for a moment to check on Baekhyun.

It was getting late, but no matter what time it was Baekhyun always laid down to listen and he _always_ held Chanyeol’s hand under his cheek in place of a pillow.

Baekhyun was always a fairly affectionate person, he was known to run up and scent his friends when he found odd smells on them, but it was just something he hadn’t grown out of doing to Chanyeol.

So every once in a while the alpha would feel the warmth of his breath on his hand as Baekhyun nuzzled into his wrist and hand.

Chanyeol never told him that he wasn’t making him smell like peaches, but instead making his hand smell like medication because he didn’t want to be the reason Baekhyun asked for new medication when they’d only _just_ started on this one.

His scent being covered was hardly the worst of the side effects Baekhyun could have, so he’d take the scent of medicine over the rash he’d gotten from the last trial run of medication.

“Hey,” Baekhyun frowned a bit, “Why’d you stop? Koha was just getting deep.” 

Chanyeol laughed, nose scrunching up, brushing his thumb across Baekhyun’s cheek and other hand messing with the hardcover of his book. 

“You’re getting sleepy eyes.” 

“My eyes droop, they're _always_ like that, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, reaching over the side of the bed to deliver a soft smack to the alpha’s shoulder. “Hurry up, I want to finish this chapter.” 

_“Bossy.”_

“Hey!” The omega yipped, pointing a thin finger at him, “You wrote this and know how it ends! Nobody will give me any hints at all! And I’ve _begged!_ I even offered Sehun one of my cupcakes, you know he likes them!”

Chanyeol chuckled at his dramatics, but he wasn’t going to point out that Sehun mostly _pretended_ to like those low sugar treats to make Baekhyun feel better. 

They really weren’t all that good, but it felt like if they did anything else but say they were good it was rubbing things Baekhyun couldn’t have in the omega’s face. 

Baekhyun’s fingernail had a bluish tint from poor circulation, so Chanyeol grabbed his hand for a moment to massage it back. 

He wondered what it felt like to Baekhyun - to constantly feel sick all the time - but it wasn’t something he liked to bring up first. Baekhyun would talk if he wanted to.

“Are you cold?” 

“I’m always cold.” 

“Do you want some sweatpants?” 

Baekhyun thought for a moment before he gave a slight nod, shifting to sit up.

The alpha moved his book into the seat before making his way across the room to the small metal, three drawer dresser in the corner. 

Baekhyun didn’t have much space for clothes, and due to all of the checkups he had to get everyday he mostly just roamed around with his hospital gown on and some shorts. There was no point in wearing much else.

There was no sense of privacy for a hospital patient anyway, and because of that Baekhyun wasn’t shy and it forced Chanyeol not to be.

So, needless to say, Chanyeol pretty much had seen all of Baekhyun by now, and it didn’t bother him at all. It was just how things were since he was a visitor that came every single day.

The only exceptions would be if he had some publishing things to get done, there was no visitation available that day, he was sick and couldn’t risk coming in, or if Baekhyun had some all day tests scheduled. 

Other than that, Chanyeol was there as much as possible, so he saw many things.

“Chanyeol, you know I’m cold because I have bad circulation, right? Clothes don’t help, it’s me that’s the problem.” Baekhyun commented, swinging legs back and forth on the side of the bed.

The alpha sighed because he hated when Baekhyun phrased things like that, like he was the problem. 

He _had_ conditions, but he wasn’t a problem. 

“Stop saying stuff like that, little one” 

Chanyeol tsked and stood in front of him to hold out the sweatpants.

Baekhyun pouted and accepted them to pull his gown up, leaning over his lap to pull the pants on all the while still sitting down.

Chanyeol snickered and pulled the hospital chair closer to the bed so he could sit down and begin folding up the bottoms so they weren’t a tripping hazard. 

“Baek,” Chanyeol mumbled, “I know it’s hard for you. Trust me.. I understand that, and I really do love to know what you think and feel about everything that’s going on, but you can’t.. just think of yourself like you’re some sort of burden. You're _not._ I wouldn’t come here if I didn’t want to, and you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to get better. And you’re going to get better, we can’t just expect a miracle overnight.” 

“I haven’t had a miracle happen since I was fifteen,” Baekhyun scoffed to himself, throwing a hand out to grab Chanyeol’s shoulder to tug himself back into his spot. 

“What do you consider a miracle?” 

“Well,” The omega clicked his tongue, “When I got the surgery, I thought it was a miracle, but it wasn’t… so I think that the only miracle that ever happened was on your fifteenth birthday. You know, the one with that big water slide your mom rented for us to play on all night.” 

Chanyeol's shoulder stiffened, he swallowed hard and racked his mind for what Baekhyun could consider a _miracle_ that happened that night.

He couldn't think of anything special. It was a birthday that went late into the night, they had cupcakes and made fun of Jongdae for slipping on the wet grass.

The only things he could think of that even _relatively_ fit was that it was the same day he…

Chanyeol shook his head, because surely if Baekhyun _knew_ then the omega would have said something. Baekhyun was months older than him and turned fifteen before him, so his instincts would have picked up on his mate at that time..

“I might fall asleep actually,” A head of deep black plopped onto his shoulder and Baekhyun slumped against him, “But we can reread what I miss next time.” 

They tended to have to do that, but Chanyeol didn’t mind. 

“We can always reread it again, Bambi,” He promised, shifting to wrap an arm around the omega’s shoulders in case he slipped off the bed more. Then, he picked up his book again.

If Baekhyun wanted him to read him to sleep, then he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👉🏻👈🏻 Lots of backstory right now but I swear ChanBaek will have more spotlight soon!


	3. About Support

When Baekhyun was eighteen Kyungsoo's mother finally found a government funded program and enrolled him in it instantly.

It took so long to find one because Baekhyun kept getting rejected - most of the time it was because he was over age. That, or it was due to how drastically downhill his health kept going; no organization wanted to be responsible for having an omega’s funeral to prepare.

So nobody accepted him.

Nobody but the House of Omega Medical Expertise, but they just called it, _“HOME.”_

It was an organization that specialized in helping omega’s with severe illness, impairments, or chronic disease.

They basically paid for everything for Baekhyun once they saw his circumstances, because the truth was Baekhyun didn’t _have_ to stay in the hospital, but he needed 24/7 care because nobody knew if one day his heart would just seize up from inflammation, or if the complications with endocarditis would appear again.

They could never be too sure if antibiotics were working or not until they gave it some time, so Baekhyun spent so much time being an experiment full of antibiotics to help kill off the bacteria causing endocarditis. 

So the organization paid for his hospital stay. 

They paid for his antibiotics, and they paid for every blood test, body scan, and any other things Baekhyun needed. 

Baekhyun was so lucky he qualified; it was a rigorous program to get into, but what earned him his spot was the fact that VSD was a defect to begin with so Baekhyun would have had medical problems no matter what, but the complications from that surgery were rare.

Baekhyun being hospitalized wasn’t something that could be prevented, and the organization recognized that he’d never really had a chance. 

Since then, his parents didn’t show up much. 

Chanyeol understood why they didn’t show up - because in a way they had been the ones to further Baekhyun’s medical issues. 

They could have caught his heart defect sooner, but instead they labeled it asthma.

They took Baekhyun home from the hospital after he was hospitalized for a week despite the doctor recommending the surgery _asap_ because Baekhyun was in _pain._

And even after the surgery, they didn’t properly take care of him or give him the prescribed amount of antibiotics.

Chanyeol thought about it sometimes. He wondered if Baekhyun would have gotten his second round of antibiotics when he was _supposed_ to if he would have never gotten bacteria into his system that then turned into endocarditis.

But that wasn’t what happened. 

What happened was Baekhyun was now having the hardest time dealing with bacteria inflaming his heart and spreading around his body - and right when they thought it was gone and the antibiotics worked it would come back twice as bad. 

So he understood their guilt, but a _sick_ part of him blamed Baekhyun’s parents a bit too - to not stick by his side was more sick than them never properly getting Baekhyun his medication, because any one of their friends would have gotten that medication for Baekhyun. 

Any single one of them would have. If only they’d said something. 

Guilt could only make up for so much, and then avoiding Baekhyun only made the omega retreat into himself more. 

So Chanyeol was irritated when he stepped into the lobby this morning.

He knew all the nurses that catered to Baekhyun, and the front desk worker Mrs. Kim always had a visitor sticker with his name on it sitting on the desk so he could walk up and get it even if she was busy like today.

Chanyeol clenched his jaw, he pulled the brim of his black baseball hat down over his forehead more and walked by the waiting line of people to get his sticker.

He was used to the odd looks he got bypassing the line, but everyone in the hospital knew about Baekhyun. “That sweet omega in room 107,” they called him, because Baekhyun was sweet and when he came out for short walks he waved to everyone while he dragged his antibiotic stand with him. 

There used to be this little girl here for a while that used to trail him around every time he was out, and Chanyeol supposed that their interactions probably contributed to people’s view of Baekhyun because the omega used to hold that little girls hand and walk her to her room despite being exhausted. 

It was so long ago now that Chanyeol only remembered that the little girl was here because she had a lung transplant, and she and Baekhyun spoke a lot about their scars.

She thought they were ugly, but Baekhyun convinced her otherwise by saying they were _kinda cool,_ and that they looked special now compared to everyone else.

Chanyeol was pretty sure Baekhyun didn’t believe anything he'd said to her, but he pretended to, and probably made that little girl's life by telling her that she was special. 

Or maybe he was just biased about the impact Baekhyun could have with just a few words. Maybe the little girl forgot about it right after.

_“Dr. Jung! Sir, we wanted to know if there were any updates…”_

Chanyeol’s hand clenched around the pen he was using to sign the visitation sheet.

_“Well, seeing as Baekhyun’s system has been rejecting-“_

“Why don’t you go check for yourself instead of asking around like this.” Chanyeol stated, shifting back to put his hands in the pocket of his jacket, “Baekhyun likes company,” He added.

There was a look of shock on Baekhyun's parents face, probably because they hadn’t noticed he was there, but Chanyeol shook his head.

Every moment he spent out here was a moment he didn’t spend with Baekhyun, so he turned to walk down the long hallway without a second thought, or an apology. 

It wasn’t like him to speak out like this; all of their parents were friends and Baekhyun still loved his parents. 

But Chanyeol found it such a pathetic way to deal with guilt. 

“Wait! Wait, Chanyeol! Kid, wait a second!” 

The alpha sighed, he knew he shouldn’t have said anything, but now that he put his nose in it he had to say something.

Chanyeol chewed on the inside of his cheek and leaned against the wall of the hallway to look down at Baekhyun’s mother. Mrs. Byun looked like a replica of Baekhyun - only more heavy set, more pointed features, a beta, and well… _healthy._

“Congratulations,” She smiled and pressed a hand against his arm, but he saw through her smile and knew it was _pained,_ “You know, the book. It’s great, we’ve been reading it; your mom gave us copies, she’s really proud.” 

“Thank you. Baekhyun likes it too, well, so far he does. It’s taking us a bit of time to get through it.” 

Mrs. Byun’s eyes dropped a bit and Chanyeol felt bad, he took pity on her and placed a small, lopsided smile on his face, “But it puts him right to sleep, so maybe it’s just so boring he knocks right out like a light.” 

“Ah, our Baekhyunnie never could stay awake, not even at movies,” She laughed quietly, hands coming together to wring the front of her shirt before she sighed, “He doing okay?”

“He broke out in hives a couple weeks ago from a nausea medication they tried to give him, apparently Baekhyun is allergic to Metoclopramide. Just another to add to the list…” 

“Oh, Chanyeol…” 

Chanyeol shrugged, shoulders coming to his ears because what was there to say really? He'd already given her a piece of his mind moments before and wasn't going to completely disrespect her.

He may be an adult, but she was his elder, _and_ Baekhyun’s mom.

“You…you’ll take good care of him right?”

Chanyeol nearly _laughed,_ but that would have been inappropriate. It just sounded entertaining to him that it was phrased as if he could do _anything_ about Baekhyun’s condition. He couldn’t. It was out of his hands. 

“I just mean to watch over him.” She amended quietly.

“I always watch over him.” Chanyeol muttered. “I’m sorry, but I should go before he starts to think I’m not -“

_“Chanyeol.”_

The alpha wanted to sigh, but withheld it to nod politely.

“I know that you’re going to take good care of him. I know you guys are mates… I mean, someone would have to be blind to not see how you always look at him when he’s not paying attention, ever since you guys were kids you did it. I know that it doesn’t mean anything, our approval, but you should know that we trust you more with him than we.. trust _ourselves_ with him. We know it seems drastic, but we do love Baekhyun, but we also know it’s better if he spends more time with you than us… that's just how it is, a mate means more than a parent. Maybe one day you both can understand why we’re doing this…” 

Chanyeol licked his lips as he processed, making a move to remove his hat and taking a few steps away towards Baekhyun’s door. But he felt too bed to just leave without replying.

“I’m not saying it’s okay.” Chanyeol said, hand on Baekhyun’s door, “But I’m saying I’ll watch over him. And for the record I _do_ appreciate the trust. I’m not going to leave his side.” 

It felt like a double edged sword, because it hurt himself to promise something he couldn’t physically do - he felt horrible every night when he had to leave Baekhyun to go home - and he knew it hurt her too considering they had left Baekhyun’s side months ago.

Even if the reason _was_ because they wanted him to be with Baekhyun more than them, it was wrong. 

He wouldn’t agree to something that hurt Baekhyun, although a little voice in the back of his mind told him that if it were them leaving, or Chanyeol leaving, that Baekhyun would have been ten times worse if it was Chanyeol.

Chanyeol shook away his thoughts and pushed open Baekhyun’s door, immediately met with the sound of the television blaring. 

It was just after ten so Chanyeol snorted when he noticed Baekhyun had a zombie movie on this early.

“Chanyeol!” 

The alpha laughed and put his hat down by the door and began to remove his coat as he acknowledged Baekhyun, the omega had all attention on him.

Baekhyun had a cap on his head today, and it was really adorable considering his ears still peeked out and that he was wearing a hospital gown and what looked like pajama bottoms.

He probably had some tests done this morning, because Baekhyun didn’t normally put pants on this early.

“Guess what I did…” Baekhyun giggled, a sneaky look on his face.

“Oh god, what now?” Chanyeol chided, playfully exasperated as he walked to the bed to take a seat behind where Baekhyun was sitting criss crossed at the end. 

Baekhyun laughed, throwing himself slowly backwards into his lap, a paper folded in his hands, “I texted Jongin and I said _wow! Chapter eight is great, isn't it?_ And he told me what happens!” 

“Yah! You couldn’t have waited one more hour so I could finish reading it? You're the worst!” 

“I was so curious,” Baekhyun pouted, “I knew Koha was going to meet Leena, but I didn’t know she was going to give him a map like that. It’s not going to be that easy to get out, is it? It’s _never_ that easy.”

“You won’t get answers out of me,” Chanyeol brushed off, properly fixing Baekhyun’s beanie over his ears before nodding his chin to his paper, “New plan?”

The omega’s eyes dulled a bit and he nodded, shuffling to reach out for his IV pole beside the bed so he could readjust.

Chanyeol rolled it over and there was basically no room for both of them to sit side by side on the bed, but Baekhyun fit himself between Chanyeol's legs all the same, like it was so easy of him to decide he could lay there, on his chest.

Of course Chanyeol let him. He wouldn't have it any other way. 

“They said next week they’ll start a new anti-inflammatory medicine,” Baekhyun mumbled, pointing his finger at the schedule, leaning his cap covered head onto Chanyeol's shoulder. “And within the month they're going to try the antibiotic ceftriaxone, if that one fails they had some other fancy named one as back up… I just hope one works, I really don’t want to have heart valve surgery…” 

They’d already been told Baekhyun was too underweight to do it in his current state anyway, but Chanyeol wouldn’t point it out. Not right now at least.

He leaned his cheek against Baekhyun’s head and reached over for his schedule, folding it up, “Did you send a copy to HOME yet?” 

“No. My nurse was a bit busy-“

“I’ll send them an email before I leave,” Chanyeol stated, leaning over to drop the paper on Baekhyun’s side table before bringing a warm palm to rub up and down Baekhyun’s arm.

“You're the best alpha in the history of alphas.” 

“Now you're just sucking up. What do you want?” 

Baekhyun went oddly quiet for a moment before the omega wrapped arms around his own waist and shuffled the smallest bit back into his chest. “Nothing. I’m just really cold today.” 

Chanyeol hummed and leaned over his back to drag the blankets up over him before wrapping arms around Baekhyun’s waist, “Okay. You can tell me what’s on your mind another time, little duck.” 

“I will.” 


	4. About Loyalty

“Can you give me that?”

Chanyeol stood up from his spot on an old, rusted metal bench to walk the short distance to a bush of flowers, turning to look back over his shoulder. “Which one, Baek?” 

“Um. I like the small ones,” Baekhyun murmured, hands between his knees and bouncing his leg.

The quad was an area where Baekhyun was allowed to spend time outdoors, usually only about an hour or so before a nurse came to ask him to go back to his room before he got too cold. 

It was in the center of the hospital with a grassy area and a small flower garden, it only had a few benches in it and a glass roof over top in case of storms, so it wasn’t exactly _outside,_ but it was as close as Baekhyun could get.

Baekhyun didn’t have his IV pole trailing behind him today, he hadn’t for a few days because his system was cleaning out his last antibiotic so they could try a new one in a few weeks.

Baekhyun on _and_ off antibiotics didn't have much of a difference though, because the last ones didn’t work on the bacteria in his system, just like the last three they’d tried over the months.

Chanyeol couldn't afford to lose hope though, so he keep his worry to himself despite wondering if Baekhyun wasn’t going to get better.

The alpha plucked one of the pink wildflowers from the bush, it was slightly damp from the sprinklers that turned on around noon, “We should get you some window boxes for flowers, I’ll have to check and see what kind of flowers are hospital safe, in case anyone is allergic.” 

The omega placed a pretty smile on his face, brushing his hair behind his ears and looking up at him with his feet swinging a bit.

Chanyeol considered himself amazing at reading Baekhyun’s actions, so the alpha promptly took his seat beside the omega to slide the stem of the pink flower behind his ear.

He knew he took longer than needed with his fingers resting in the hollow of Baekhyun’s cheek, pretending to be fixing the flower, but he didn’t care. 

“Does it look nice?” Baekhyun whispered, reaching up to run his fingers across his ear. His fingertips lingered around Chanyeol's hand for a moment longer than normal before he dropped his hand back into his lap.

“It looks pretty, bunny.” _You look pretty._

Baekhyun smiled and looked down at his lap before sighing, “I wish I could wear pretty things more often.” 

“You don't need pretty things,” Chanyeol argued softly, “It’s more important that you wear what they tell you to, Baek. I know it sucks-“

“No you _don’t.”_

Chanyeol shut his mouth at the hiss in Baekhyun’s voice, giving a short, agreeing nod as he looked down at his boots versus the cloth slippers the omega had on.

He felt like he was so used to seeing Baekhyun in the light blue hospital gowns now that he never really saw him in much else, because the gown always stayed on.

If it was cold out, like today, he had a zip up over top, but most of the time it was always just this gown with an opening at the back and some shorts or pajama pants. 

He wouldn’t argue and pretend he knew how Baekhyun felt. 

It was obvious how he felt. Sometimes Baekhyun asked him to bring him new socks, underwear, or sometimes even things that seemed unnecessary like hats or scarves. 

He wanted to be pretty, he didn’t feel very pretty here. 

Baekhyun was pretty though. In high school people used to refer to him as the _cute freshman,_ but.. then he got sick. 

And he lost what little weight he had, he didn’t have the strength to be picky about his clothing, and he didn’t put on makeup anymore like the other teenagers. 

He’d just _given up._ His self esteem plummeted, and Baekhyun no longer thought himself pretty.

He should. Chanyeol wished he did, but nothing he could say would help Baekhyun gain that self esteem back. 

The best thing for him would be to get healthy _first,_ then maybe Baekhyun would learn to be happy with himself again.

“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun sighed, bringing a bony hand to Chanyeol’s thigh for his attention. “I just.. I miss other clothes, basically anything not this _stupid_ baby blue color. I didn’t mean to snap at you. You’re just trying to help.” 

“I just want you to get better.” 

“I know…” The omega whispered, fingers clenching into Chanyeol's jeans.. “Anyway,” Baekhyun mumbled, changing the subject, “Can you tell me what flowers you have in your window boxes again?” 

Chanyeol pressed his lips together, leaning back on his palms on the cold bench. 

Baekhyun had never gotten to see his house before. He’d gotten it about a month or two after he got his first check from his original short story while his publishing company was busy editing the full book version of _The Boy With The Light._

It was a small place, but it was a house all to himself and that was _way_ better than the dorms or apartments their friends had. 

Much better than Baekhyun’s hospital room.

It had two bedrooms, a study with wooden paneling on the ceiling that gave it an old timey vibe, and a smaller kitchen, but Chanyeol didn’t have much time to cook anyways. 

Baekhyun asked a lot of questions when he first heard about it, but he had this sad glint in his eye when Minseok showed him pictures they’d taken of it for him and he noticed the welcoming gifts and what suggested they had a party at the house.

They did. It wasn’t Chanyeol’s idea, they’d all just sort of showed up at his house, but he knew Baekhyun was lonely and left out, so he tried not to bring it up much. Not unless Baekhyun wanted to know something. 

“Well, they’re withering pretty bad because I keep forgetting to move the curtains and let light in for them,” Chanyeol laughed, “So the daisies are pretty much turning brown. I should just stick to plastic plants.” 

“You can always baby them back to health.” 

“I’m not good at having patience, Baek.” 

“You're good at it with me.” 

Chanyeol sighed, “You're a person. My best friend. You're not a flower, Baekhyun.” 

_“Sometimes I feel more delicate than a flower, at least they show signs of dying and people have a chance to try and help them. I’m just hopeless.”_

The alpha swallowed, fingers curling under the metal of the seat, “You aren’t dying.” 

“You keep saying that, but it feels like there’s no chance for me, Chanyeol.” 

Not for the first time Chanyeol wished Baekhyun’s doctor was able to give him medication for his depression, but according to them loading him up with too many medications could cause more harm than good.

Chanyeol understood that. He did - Baekhyun was already sensitive and allergic to so many medications - but it was just a _wish_ he had. 

But he had a lot of wishes, and not one was granted. So that was that.

Chanyeol shifted to sit up straight, bringing a hand to the back of Baekhyun’s head to pet down his hair and argue that there was no reason he should have sad thoughts when people were fighting so hard for him. He felt the need to reiterate often that they were _all_ rooting for him.

They were all waiting for the day where Baekhyun could run up to someone and not get weak kneed and choke on air or when he could simply step outside of the hospital.

Both of those would be big accomplishments.

But they wouldn’t be happening today, nor anytime soon.

In fact, when Chanyeol opened his mouth to reassure him, Baekhyun jerked to lean over his lap, he made a soft groaning noise.

Then, Baekhyun proceeded to vomit all over the front of his gown.

“Baek, sh, sh.” Chanyeol cursed beneath his breath and scooted back a bit so Baekhyun had room to breathe, but it was too late. The omega began to sob. 

His hands shook as he put them over his face as if embarrassed, but Chanyeol knew it was more because it was _painful_ to throw up when he’d barely even gotten half his breakfast down. 

_“I’m sorry, ‘m sorry!”_

“Don't be sorry, Baek. It’s okay. It’s okay,” Chanyeol hushed him and removed his jacket to wipe Baekhyun’s chin, but he knew he’d be better off calling for his nurse.

He knew what this was, Baekhyun had plenty of reactions to new anti inflammatory medication before, and more often than not it was a stomach ache while his body adjusted to the new prescription. 

So he wasn’t disgusted nor put off, instead he was just worried.

Chanyeol was _always_ worried. It didn’t matter to him that Baekhyun had vomit on his gown, it mattered that Baekhyun was feeling bad _again._

Like always.

“Hey, don’t look. Don’t look, it’s okay.” He hushed Baekhyun’s crying, laying his coat over the omega’s front so he didn’t have to see it.

Baekhyun always felt so bad, but he had no reason to, it wasn’t like he had any control over it.

 _“Bambi…”_ Chanyeol cooed, slipping hands under Baekhyun’s knees, “I know. It’s okay. It’s just a side effect. You know that, Baek.” 

Baekhyun hardly calmed down, instead he cried and hid his face in Chanyeol's shoulder as he was picked up.

There was something so frustrating about incidents like this. Chanyeol didn't know much about medicine, but he thought the nurses would know whether or not something would be hard on his stomach.

On the other hand Chanyeol just felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest when Baekhyun cried. It was energy that should be spent laughing instead. 

_“ ‘m s-so sorry..”_

“Baekhyunnie, I don’t mind.” Chanyeol gently hushed him and walked through the automatic door back into the hallway.

Baekhyun was so light that it didn’t even make him breathless to carry him down the hall to his room, in fact Chanyeol could carry him all day and be fine with it. 

When he walked in the head nurse, Mrs. Lee, was cleaning off Baekhyun’s bed, but she immediately gasped and backed away, “Oh dear, what happened now.” 

“He just needs to be washed up,” Chanyeol murmured, “It’s the anti inflammatory medicine, it’s too heavy on his stomach. He got a little sick.” 

“I’ll go get him some nausea medication,” She cried, abandoning the clean folded blanket on the end of his bed while Chanyeol placed Baekhyun on the edge of his bed. 

Baekhyun whined when he tried to pull away to start cleaning him off, so the alpha sighed and pressed a hand to his hair to gently pet the back of his head. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” 

There was a moment of thought before Baekhyun did a slight nod against his chest.

With a sigh Chanyeol turned his head so his lips brushed Baekhyun’s temple, “Hey, it’s not going to be bad forever. Things have to be bad in order to get better, little one. But there’s still so much left to try, so don’t give up on me so soon. You aren’t going to just give up out of nowhere on my watch.” 

“Then don’t watch.” 

“Too bad. I’m going to watch you really close, Baek. What else am I here for?”

The omega sighed and moved a hand from the alpha’s neck to Chanyeol’s forearm as he pulled back, face streaked with tears and somehow when he cried the bruise-like darkness around his eyes looked darker. 

“You're here because I want you to be here.” 

Chanyeol gave a slightly forced smile and wiped Baekhyun’s cheek with his palm. “Then I’m not going anywhere as long as you’re here, little duck.” 

“Good.” Baekhyun sniffled and brought his hand up to rub his nose with his palm in a move Chanyeol would consider slightly child-like, but when overwhelmed Baekhyun seemed to act that way, _“Because I don’t want you to go anywhere.”_


	5. About Friendship

This would be Baekhyun’s second birthday inside of a hospital.

There were so many rules, and originally he wasn’t allowed to have more than five people in his room due to emergency regulations - they couldn’t have too many people blocking the path to Baekhyun if there was an incident. 

But, they managed to convince his doctor to overlook it like last year, and Dr. Jung only agreed because all of them promised not to surround Baekhyun as a group and instead give him some space. 

It sucked because Baekhyun didn’t like space; he liked hugs and to be coddled and told he looked better even if he still looked just as sick as he did last week. 

And he _really_ liked how every year Sehun and Jongin played tug of war over him as if it was a dire choice who he sat with.

They couldn’t this year because of Baekhyun’s nausea, so they settled on hugs one at a time that Jongdae commented were _boring._

Chanyeol loved their friends, he did, he would never change them for a second, but they didn’t spend as much time with Baekhyun as he did and they didn’t know that there were some things the omega didn’t like to hear.

Things like how a situation had to change for him or how something was _boring_ because it was different, because of him. Baekhyun would feel guilty.

But it didn’t stop the omega from receiving his hugs and laughing until his breathing began to pick up.

“Cake or presents!” Junmyeon smiled, carrying a pink cardboard box over to put on his dresser. “Chanyeol told us which kind to get, so don’t worry you can have it.” 

Baekhyun fiddled with the edge of his gown, sitting beside Chanyeol on his bed before he awkwardly mumbled, “My stomach isn’t very well so… maybe we can skip cake?” 

It was silent for a moment and Chanyeol was used to Baekhyun talking about feeling unwell or sick, but he supposed the others weren’t quite as used to it because they looked at him with worry filled eyes.

Chanyeol cleared his throat, “Presents then, let’s start there.”

 _“Me first!_ Scoot! Scoot!” Jongdae screamed, pushing Baekhyun’s leg a bit and flopping down onto the bed.

Baekhyun looked uncomfortable squished together so without thought Chanyeol looped an arm around his waist and pulled him onto his thigh.

It didn’t bother him at all, Baekhyun weighed so little.

The omega twisted to look at him before giving the softest, laziest smile Chanyeol had ever seen. It was incredible. 

Chanyeol was going to ask why Baekhyun was suddenly making his heart race like this when abruptly Jongdae was shoving a box at Baekhyun's chest.

“Baekhyun, you're going to love it!”

The omega giggled and shifted to lean forward in a way that gave everyone a clear view of his spine that stuck out against his skin.

Chanyeol looked around and saw a bunch of pitiful expressions before he gathered the opened back of Baekhyun’s gown in his fist to hold it closed.

He didn’t want anyone to worry right now, Baekhyun worried enough on a normal day.

Baekhyun laughed and pulled a puppy stuffed animal from the box, surprisingly Baekhyun didn’t have a puppy one already, he had cats and elephants and bears, but no puppy.

Maybe their friends paid more attention than Chanyeol gave them credit for.

“For our Baekhyunnie who has puppy eyes!” Jongdae teased, pinching the omega’s cheek.

Such attention made Baekhyun light up, and it was nearly childish the way he clutched the bear to his chest, but nobody pointed it out or teased him.

“Alright, squirrel,” Yixing laughed, dimples sitting deep on his cheeks, “Let’s put on that movie you wanted and we can get your gifts together.” 

“Let me get his medicine, you guys can continue.” Chanyeol muttered, gently shifting Baekhyun into their spot by himself and moving across the room.

He approached the small mini fridge by the door, one Baekhyun’s nurse left with a single nausea pill and a pack of crackers in case the omega’s stomach was still upset and he was unable to eat lunch.

_“Chan?”_

Chanyeol jumped a bit when Sehun leaned onto his side, humming and proceeding to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Is he…” Sehun sighed and licked his lips, “Is he doing okay? Like.. since we can’t see him as much. We’re really trying to, it's just school and.. you know… work..” 

“Baek? Being upset with you guys?” Chanyeol scoffed, “He understands, Sehun. Don’t even trip.” 

“I know, but it’s just.. different.. ever since his condition got worse I feel like he’s pulling away more, and if anyone would know anything about that it would be you. I just, I want him to be okay, Yeol. Sometimes I feel like that’s too much to ask, Baekhyun is never okay.” 

Chanyeol felt like a lump was expanding in his throat, because he didn’t want to talk about this. 

He didn’t want to be the one breaking down on Baekhyun’s birthday, and he certainly didn’t want to make this a _sad_ day.

Even though the truth was they all wondered about Baekhyun’s condition - if it was getting better or worse. They could never tell because things could change at the drop of a hat.

As long as Baekhyun was still kicking, then Chanyeol wasn’t going to break down about this in front of anyone, he’d do it in the privacy of his house where he could cry all he wanted.

“Me too.” Chanyeol murmured, squeezing Sehun’s arm before bypassing him to go back to his prior spot, by then Baekhyun had a bunch of pink wrapping paper on the bed and a pair of fluffy socks on that he hadn’t been wearing prior.

Chanyeol didn’t see what everyone else got him, but he was sure he’d hear all about it later.

“Medicine, Baek,” The alpha interrupted, standing in front of Baekhyun with the pill and water.

Baekhyun didn’t even blink, he accepted the medication without even needing the water to get it down and then patted the bed beside himself with droopy eyes.

Chanyeol placed the water down before collecting him to take a seat with Baekhyun sitting in the middle of his lap.

“I finally got this stupid tv to work!” Minseok growled, pointing at the television, “God I hate these ones, where’s the remote! Someone click play!” 

“Baek, do you want lunch no-“ Kyungsoo suddenly went silent and tapped fingers on his own lap.

Chanyeol frowned before looking down and noticing Baekhyun’s eyelids were abruptly sliding closed and popping open once again only to begin dropping down. He was so fatigued just from the few hours he’s been awake.

Maybe excitement was a lot for him to handle right now, but undoubtedly it was all the drugs in his system that tired him out fast.

“He’s okay.” Chanyeol said quickly, shifting Baekhyun to lay with his head against his chest and reaching for the blanket, “He’s just tired. Give him an hour and he’ll be back up.” 

The eyes he was met with were commiserative.

Chanyeol pretended he didn’t see them because things were easier that way.

***

Baekhyun ended up sleeping until it was growing dark out. He slept through two movies. He slept when Chanyeol tried to gently wake him up to say goodbye, and he even slept the entire time the alpha cleaned up the wrapping paper from his room and kindly told the janitor he would clean the party supplies himself.

But when Baekhyun woke up he had a bright smile and half hooded eyes that made Chanyeol laugh seeing as he smiled like he’d had the best rest of his life. 

“Good morning, Bambi.” The alpha snorted, “I almost thought you weren’t going to wake up by the time visitation was over too, silly.” 

Baekhyun yawned, he stretched his arms over his head and made his gown rise up to reveal the edge of his grey underwear.

“.. is it that late?” The omega half slurred, reaching around for the remote to his bed in order to sit himself up.

Chanyeol would tease him for being lazy since he could just sit up if it wasn’t his birthday and if the omega hadn’t been so obviously exhausted. 

“Well, Soo and Jun left at about two for class, and then the others left at various times to go to work, don’t worry they gave you hugs and said goodbye before they went.” 

It sounded silly to say that they had, but it was true and it made Baekhyun smile, so it didn’t matter if it was a little strange.

“Can.. we have cake and watch a movie now?” Baekhyun asked softly, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Okay,” Chanyeol agreed easily, approaching the fridge to dig out an already pre cut slice of cake that Baekhyun hadn’t had a chance to touch earlier.

He had no idea what to do with the half eaten cake just sitting in there, Baekhyun wouldn’t eat that much, Chanyeol would probably take Baekhyun around the hospital tomorrow to see if there were any other patients that would like some of his birthday cake.

It would make Baekhyun happy.

“I folded up the new pajamas Jongin got you,” Chanyeol murmured, “And put your new case on your phone and everything, little duck. There’s only one thing left.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes went as big as the plastic spoon Chanyeol was bringing him, eyes flickering from where he’d been messing with the tv remote to the alpha. “What’s left, Yeollie?” 

Chanyeol actually had the nerve to laugh as he set the cake down on the metal tray beside his bed, “You couldn’t possibly think I didn’t get you a birthday present, Baek? Did you?”

The omega ducked his head, fingers picking with his gown as he mumbled, “I.. I wouldn’t have minded. You don’t have much time to shop or anything so.. so it’s okay, I like you spending time here instead.” 

With a tsk Chanyeol bent down to pull out a light blue gift bag from under the chair beside the bed, in the fuss earlier with everyone coddling Baekhyun he’d managed to hide it.

“You’re a silly omega if you think I didn’t find time to get you something,” Chanyeol teased, placing the bag in his lap and taking a seat by the bed, “Go ahead, bunny.” 

Baekhyun was bad at pretending not to be excited, so he giggled and began to dig into the bag in an instant.

Chanyeol already knew Baekhyun would like it, he heard the omega telling one of the nurses he liked her cardigan only a month before, so he may have splurged a _bit._

He just knew Baekhyun would be really pretty in the tan, flower embroidered cardigan. Plus, it was thick and the inside was lined with soft faux fur.

 _“Chanyeol!”_ Baekhyun cried, mouth agape, “This must have cost so much..” 

“Hey, it’s not your job to worry about things like that,” Chanyeol snorted, removing the bag off his lap, “Your job is to put it on and _not_ worry about how much it costs, it was for you so I don’t care how much it was _.”_

Baekhyun’s ears turned a slight pink before he reluctantly nodded in agreement and pet the inside of the cardigan before mumbling, “Can you help me put it on?” 

Chanyeol nodded and leaned over the bed to give him a hand sitting up. In a way, sometimes Baekhyun felt like a child in his hold, unable to do much by himself, and so incredibly small.

All he wanted was for Baekhyun to gain a little weight, just enough so his eyes no longer looked so sad all the time, but that sounded like a thought he should keep to himself.

“There you go, look at you,” Chanyeol cooed, watching Baekhyun hurry to do a single brown button on the front of the cardigan to hold it closed. “So cute.” 

“I look cute? Or the cardigan is cute?” Baekhyun asked, tugging his new cardigan up to his nose.

Chanyeol swallowed when he realized his slip up, but it was way too late to take it back, and when he realized Baekhyun was smelling the clothing he figured the omega wanted a lot of comfort right now if he was searching for his scent on the cardigan. 

“You are cute.” He whispered softly, clearing his throat and reaching across the bed for the remote, “Now let’s start your movie before we run out of time.” 

“Okay…” 

Chanyeol got about one minute of silence and deep brown eyes staring into his profile before Baekhyun began to squirm and it gained his attention again.

The omega shifted to one side of the bed before silently giving the bed a rather cute, weak pat.

“Baek,” The alpha chuckled, “We both don’t fit.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes filled with rejection before his lips pursed out and he looked down at his lap as he raised his arms up towards him.

It would be easy to assume he just wanted a hug, because Baekhyun liked to cling especially when he was really emotional - and considering it was his birthday, he was incredibly emotional - but Chanyeol knew he just wanted them to be close.

And the only way to do that is by snuggling.

Chanyeol certainly didn’t mind snuggling Baekhyun. 

“You’re so clingy today,” He teased, “Is it _my_ birthday?” 

Baekhyun laughed, wrapping his fingers around Chanyeol's forearm when it wrapped around his waist in order for the alpha to climb into the bed beneath him.

“You're my best friend, Chanyeol. I just want to see you!” 

“We see each other so much, Bambi,” Chanyeol snickered, both arms coming to wrap around Baekhyun’s narrow waist, not quite tight, but just enough for the omega to feel the pressure.

“Sometimes I want you to stay more though. Like at night time..” Baekhyun stated, “I think once I get out of here I’m never going to want to be alone at night again.” 

This was the first time in a long while Chanyeol had heard Baekhyun say something about recovery. Something that was _optimistic_ at least. 

Chanyeol shifted to lean forward a bit to grab the blanket to pull over their legs, unintentionally pressing his cheek to Baekhyun’s hair, but once it made contact with slight pressure he felt the omega lean against his face right back.

“You won’t have to be alone, I’m going to keep bothering you just like when we were kids,” Chanyeol promised.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun giggled and pulled the blanket up to his chin, “You never bothered me, I annoyed you.” 

“I liked having you around even if you took up my whole bed.” 

“I liked your bed more than mine.” 

Chanyeol smiled and pressed his lips down against Baekhyun’s head in the gentlest form of affection he could manage. “Happy birthday, Baekhyun. I hope you had a good day.” 

“Maybe next year.. I can have a party at your house instead.” 

“That sounds nice, little one.”


	6. About Progress

_Three pounds._

_Three pounds._

_Over a kilogram._

Chanyeol couldn’t believe his ears, but he was positive that’s what Baekhyun had just told him.

It seemed impossible. Baekhyun hadn’t been eating much at all, especially not with his stomach being so sensitive, but some miracle must have happened because that’s what the omega just told him.

He’d gained three pounds in the past two weeks. 

For Baekhyun, that was _incredible._ Hell, even a half of a pound and Chanyeol would have been out of his mind happy, but _three?_ Insane. It was just insane.

He was so proud of Baekhyun. 

“Chanyeol, are you thinking hard? You have that silly look on your face and-“

Chanyeol grabbed him in a hug, the omega squeaked and pressed the tips of his slippers to the tile floor of the hallway as he threw his arms around Chanyeol's neck quickly.

“Baek, that’s so amazing, so fucking amazing!” He cried, muffling his words into Baekhyun’s cardigan that the omega refused to take off the entire week. 

_“Chanyeol..”_ Baekhyun giggled into his shoulder, “My toes aren’t on the floor anymore.” 

Quickly and carefully Chanyeol set him back to his feet, bringing a hand to straighten out Baekhyun’s cardigan and sending him an apologetic look.

“It’s okay. You didn’t squeeze me that hard, I’m not gonna break you know,” Baekhyun teased, his nose scrunching up with the intensity of his silly smile. “Haven’t you heard? I’m a new man, soon enough I’m going to be all chubby and walk around like a penguin because of my belly.” 

“I would pay to see that,” Chanyeol laughed, laying a hand on Baekhyun’s spine and continuing down the hall at a slow pace towards his room. 

“Well just you wait!” Baekhyun swore, bringing a pointed finger to poke Chanyeol's arm, “I’m going to get cheeks like Kyungsoo and nobody can stop me!”

 _Nobody is going to stop you,_ Chanyeol mused internally, but he kept it to himself and instead excitedly blurted, “You know what, I’m buying you something from the vending machine, let’s go.” 

“I’m not allowed to have anything from there..” 

“Your doctor says you’re not allowed to have them _all_ the time,” Chanyeol argued, grabbing ahold of Baekhyun’s sleeve covered fingers to pull him down the hallway adjacent to the omega’s room. 

There were rows of vending machines down there so they normally avoided them seeing as Baekhyun could get pretty upset about his diet.

“What? You think I don’t listen?” The alpha gasped dramatically, _“Please,_ I know what he says, and I’m sure he’d agree that this is okay. I’ll even tell on myself next time I see him, I promise.” 

Baekhyun’s skeptical look dropped and he placed a bright beam on his face as he stepped away from Chanyeol to look at the machines.

He looked like a kid in a candy store with the lights of the machines lighting up his face. And there was something so adorable about it that Chanyeol couldn’t even bring himself to think about how sad it was that Baekhyun was so excited over small packs of cookies and chips.

“I’m going to get you a juice! See, at least we’re getting something you’re allowed to have!” Chanyeol chided as he pulled out his wallet.

Baekhyun began to giggle and he pressed his hands against the machine and even did a slight jump that made Chanyeol’s heart stop for a full second in fear he was going to have his legs give out on him.

It seemed dramatic of him, but Baekhyun was known to overexert himself to the extent he toppled over.

“I want the gummies or the shrimp chips! _Oh, Yeol…_ choose for me! I just can’t decide!” 

“Ah, Baekhyunnie.” Chanyeol snickered, two apple juice bottles in his arm as he walked up behind the omega, “I'll tell you what, I’ll get you both of them if you promise to not eat them all in a day, deal?” 

The likelihood that Baekhyun could even stomach both of them at once was incredibly low, but Chanyeol had to at least phrase it as if the omega had a choice, otherwise it just felt like Baekhyun’s condition was taking over when that wasn’t the case. 

Baekhyun was going to _overcome_ his illness even if his symptoms got to him often. Getting better was the only option. 

“Ca-Can I do it?” Baekhyun stuttered with excitement, putting both hands out.

Chanyeol laughed and gave him his wallet, resting his empty palm on the middle of his back with a small rubbing motion, “Let’s hope the results for your next check up are just as good.” 

_“Mhm!”_ Baekhyun chirped, taking it upon himself to turn and stuff Chanyeol's wallet into the alpha’s hoodie pocket before screeching this quiet, but piercing laugh as he retrieved his treats.

Such a sound made Chanyeol swallow because he hadn’t heard Baekhyun make that sort of laugh in so long.

The last he recalled it was in school when Sehun had completely wiped out on the snow from Minseok hitting him with a snowball with all the skills of a pitcher.

It was the noise Baekhyun made when he was at the peek of happiness. 

“Okay, little duck,” Chanyeol mused, petting the back of Baekhyun’s head when the omega met him with a very puppy-like look and held his items up to his cheeks, “Let's get back and I’ll read to you some more.” 

_“Yay!”_

Chanyeol rolled his eyes at his dramatics and wrapped a cautious hand around Baekhyun’s bicep in case he got wobbly. 

“Chan,” Baekhyun cooed a moment later, “I wish you wouldn’t work out.” 

_“What? I don’t!”_ The alpha began to cackle as he pushed open the omega’s door, “What are you going on about, Bambi?” 

Baekhyun pouted his lips, “You’re really carrying me.”

Chanyeol raised his brows and took a look down at Baekhyun before quickly releasing him when he noticed he was basically on his tip toes.

“I never said I didn’t like it,” Baekhyun added, shuffling to his bed to toss his things down onto it, “But I have to change my gown. I got new ones earlier.” 

“Okay, I’ll find where we left off in the book.” 

The omega nodded and made his way slowly to the dresser, opening it up to pluck out a pale colored gown.

Baekhyun looked reluctant to shrug off his sweater but he did and placed it on his bed to pull his gown over his fluff of hair.

Chanyeol had his head down, digging through his bag for his book when Baekhyun cleared his throat and shuffled towards him.

“Chanyeol?”

“Yes, little duck?” 

“Can you help me?” 

The alpha looked up and raised a brow at Baekhyun holding his gown to his chest and looking down at his slippers. 

It was odd considering he saw Baekhyun get dressed all the time and didn’t mind at all.

“I can’t reach… to tie it,” Baekhyun mumbled, the collar of his gown hanging down his collarbones.

Chanyeol released a slight laugh and stood up to help.

He was a good head taller than Baekhyun and it forced the omega to crank his neck to look up at him. 

_So cute,_ Chanyeol mused to himself and stepped behind him to grab the first strings at the small of Baekhyun’s back.

This was… well, quite frankly not his favorite part about looking after Baekhyun, because the knobs of his spine stuck out and he had a few stray bruises on his skin from overexerting himself and having to find something to hold himself up.

It made him upset, Baekhyun just couldn’t keep himself still and hurt himself more by roaming around, but Chanyeol couldn’t bring himself to scold him for it - Baekhyun had little to do around here so he wandered around even if he shouldn’t. 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun mumbled, holding his gown to his chest, “Can you be honest with me?”

“Sure, Bambi.” Chanyeol mumbled, lips pursed together as he tried not to get worked up when his fingers brushed the boney top of his spine as he grasped the top strings of the gown.

Baekhyun shuffled, crossing his arms over his stomach and shifting his weight back and forth. “Do I look like a kid to you?”

Chuckling a small bit, the alpha shook his head, “Of course not? Why would you say that, silly? You’re an adult.” 

“I just…” Baekhyun turned around to look at him, hair falling into his eyes as he cranked his chin up, “Sometimes I feel like maybe… because I’m small people don’t take me seriously. They’re always telling me what to do.” 

“That’s because you’re in a hospital, Baek,” Chanyeol soothed, both palms coming to his face to pet his hair down. “It’s because you’re sick and they have to be firm with you, not because you look young, don’t worry about that, bunny.” 

Baekhyun frowned, bringing a small hand to curl into the edge of the alpha’s top, “Do you think that in your book Koha feels upset when people keep telling him what to do too?” 

Chanyeol shook his head fondly because Baekhyun was so invested in the story that the omega probably had it running through his head all day long. 

He pulled away to take a seat on the stiff guest chair expecting Baekhyun to lay down in bed so they could discuss, but he didn’t do that. 

Instead Baekhyun walked up to him and laid a slender hand on his shoulder for support before placing himself sideways into his lap.

Chanyeol had lied a bit moments ago, because Baekhyun did seem so much like a child to him sometimes. Especially in moments like this when the omega brought his legs up and made himself even smaller to be held. 

He truly was a pup seeking attention.

“Okay, needy,” Chanyeol cried playfully as he wrapped arms around the omega’s back and knees, enveloping all of Baekhyun in just both arms. It was just so easy to hold all of him, Baekhyun had always been tiny.

“Chanyeol? When Koha was told he wasn’t allowed to go outside anymore, do you think he was upset or angry? Do you think he would have escaped if he had a choice? Or maybe he knows staying is better…”

“Well,” Chanyeol whispered, laying his forehead against Baekhyun’s head, “You have to remember it's just a story, little one. In his world it’s normal to cut off people seen as _different,_ if I were him… considering he knew he was different, I would have just felt sorrowful when the time finally came where he was taken away. He always knew it was going to happen. 

But sometimes you don’t know things are going to happen so they can be even more upsetting, like when he realized the emotional neglect going on behind the walls. When you’re stuck in a place where nobody cares about you… wouldn’t you feel lost like he does?” 

“I do feel lost.” 

Chanyeol's expression barely wavered. He wasn’t stupid, Baekhyun always related things to himself and his own situation, even when they didn’t need to be. “Me caring about you isn’t enough?”

Baekhyun shook his head frantically before letting his head tilt and rest against Chanyeol's, “I just get lonely.”

“I know you do, bab- Bambi. But we’re not going to leave you here alone. Not like how Koha was alone, it’s only a story, Baekhyun. Remember that. It’s just a story.” 

Baekhyun pressed his lips together and Chanyeol could tell he didn’t like that response, but he didn’t comment, instead he fiddled with his hospital band on his wrist before pointing a finger to his bed. “Can you scent my sweater for me? Just… just so I don’t feel too sad when they make you leave.” 

He didn’t have to sound so nervous, the thought of Baekhyun finding comfort in his scent made him incredibly happy.

But Chanyeol couldn’t exactly scream out _You're my mate of course I can scent you,_ because that risked way too much. 

He couldn’t imagine how things would go down considering Baekhyun was basically cornered if he approached the subject.

Baekhyun couldn't leave even if he wanted, even if the topic made him incredibly uncomfortable, and if Chanyeol left then Baekhyun would fall even worse into his mind and be incredibly alone - all of the possible bad things that could happen by confessing weren’t worth getting the feelings off his chest.

He’d hold them in as long as he needed to. 

“Of course, Baekhyun. Anytime.” 


	7. About Time

Chanyeol fucked up. 

The night before he’d stayed at the hospital until seven which was typical of Saturday visitation hours, on the way home he'd picked up food which was another hour, and as soon as he got to his house he had to spend all night writing and brainstorming.

Baekhyun had given him some ideas, and in a state of his mind racing with ideas he needed to write them down immediately.

That ended up being hours of him sitting at his desk, and he didn’t even realize it had gotten so late until it read seven in the morning on his desktop.

He’d fallen asleep with the thought of getting up to see Baekhyun at noon, because it was Sunday and visitation hours were later in the day.

But he hadn’t.

He forgot to set his alarm and he passed out still in his clothes from the day prior.

It was exhausting and took a toll on him. He was spending days worrying over Baekhyun and nights up writing until he got a migraine, but normally he was better about letting Baekhyun know if he couldn't make it in.

He’d never not let the omega know until today.

It was already three in the afternoon by the time he woke up. And Chanyeol had just tossed on a hoodie and grabbed his keys because he only had an hour before visitation was over.

Needless to say, he felt like absolute garbage.

The hospital was nearly empty by the time he got there, the receptionist looked like she wanted to ask him why he was so late but Chanyeol just snatched his name tag and rushed off.

He had faith she would fill out the visitation chart for him.

Baekhyun’s room was dark when he walked in. None of the curtains were opened, the lights were off, and the television that normally played movies all night was black.

Chanyeol couldn’t handle all the guilt he had weighing down on his chest.

“Hey…” He cleared his throat and felt around for the light switch, “Hey, Bambi. I’m sorry I didn’t bring you lunch today. I think you can tell I’m running late…” 

Baekhyun didn’t move, his back was to the door and his blanket pulled all the way over his head leaving the smallest puff of hair sticking out on his pillows.

The alpha couldn't fucking believe himself right now. It was an accident of course, but he had a hell of a lot more control over what he did day to day than Baekhyun, so it didn’t matter if it was an accident - it was one that should have been avoided.

Chanyeol cautiously approached the bed, placing his hands on the footboard and murmuring, “Little duck, did you have lunch?” 

The omega moved to pull his legs closer to himself beneath the blankets and that silent rejection _stung._

Chanyeol knew Baekhyun relied on his visits; it was rare that he had many other people stop by with or without warning. On the weekends occasionally their friends would swoop in, but it was understandable that they couldn’t stay for much longer than to give him hugs and pull Chanyeol aside for any updates.

Baekhyun’s world consisted of a constant cycle of people appearing for only a short while and then leaving.

His entire life had been like that.

Chanyeol didn’t want to be one of the people that came to ruffle his hair and tell him he was doing good then disappear for another few weeks. But it scared him just how accepting of that Baekhyun would be.

He would be upset, but Baekhyun understood people have lived outside of him and his hospital room. 

The omega just wanted to be a part of their outside lives _too._

“Baekhyunnie.” The alpha sighed and dragged his chair close to the bed where his knees pressed against the metal, “Let me see those doe eyes.” 

Not even a shift of the blankets came from the omega. 

Chanyeol frowned and grabbed the blanket to pull it down a bit, and even then Baekhyun didn’t move a muscle. Instead, he let Chanyeol pull the covers down beneath his chin to reveal tear stained cheeks and bitten lips.

Baekhyun cried a lot when he was alone, Chanyeol already knew that, but most of the time when he walked in and noticed his teary face and swollen eyes he changed subjects to cheer him up.

But this time he was the _cause_ of the tears and it made his stomach swim with guilt and regret.

He should’ve just checked his fucking alarm, was it that hard? Had he been tired enough that sleep seemed more important than Baekhyun? 

“Hi, little one,” Chanyeol crooned, laying a hand on his hair, “I'm so sorry. I must’ve scared you. I forgot to turn my alarm on, I’m really sorry, Baek. I’m going to come extra early tomorrow.” 

Baekhyun brought his balled up fist to his mouth with eyes shining with tears. “I.. I thought you forgot about me..”

 _“What?”_ Chanyeol whispered, pulling his brows together and leaning closer, “Absolutely not, Baekhyun. Never. I overslept. God… how could I just forget about you overnight, Bambi? That’s not possible.” 

“My parents did it, so it must be easy to forget about me.” 

_“Oh, bunny..”_ He clicked his tongue and began to pull the blankets back. “That’s it, come here.” 

Baekhyun gave a pitiful sniffle and accepted his hand to slip out from the covers. He had a bandaid on his inner elbow and it felt like a stab just knowing he’d gotten some bloodwork done without him there to calm his nerves.

Chanyeol pulled him into his chest for a hug, gently shifting his bare legs into his lap and fixing his gown.

It seemed Baekhyun hadn’t even gotten out of bed today because he wasn’t wearing his sweater and he wasn’t even wearing pajama bottoms. 

“I’m not going to leave you alone, don’t we discuss this so often, Baek?” Chanyeol asked, pulling his top blanket off the bed to tuck around Baekhyun’s shoulders. 

“You didn’t come and… and I didn’t want to do anything..” Baekhyun whispered, placing his cheek against his collarbones and picking at a string on Chanyeol’s hoodie. “I was just so sad.” 

“I’m going to be more careful,” Chanyeol promised, pressing his nose to the omega’s hair. “Hey. I love you. I’m going to keep coming. I’m sorry for missing today.” 

Baekhyun visually cheered up, he tilted his head up to look at him, “I love you.” 

_Ouch,_ why did it hurt so bad to hear words they both knew were true? 

He loved Baekhyun, they’d been best friends for so long, but… it hurt to hear Baekhyun say an _I love you_ back. It felt painful despite being sweet. 

Chanyeol sighed and pressed a barely there kiss against the omega’s hair before changing the subject because there was something about Baekhyun’s attentive, awaiting stare that made his hair stand up.

“I’m going to come sooner next time,” Chanyeol murmured, bringing the corner of the blanket beneath Baekhyun’s toes so it wouldn’t move around. “I’m really sorry, Baek. There’s no need to cry, okay? You don’t need to be crying over me, bunny. Alright?”

“I always feel like crying over alpha.” 

Chanyeol's entire body stiffened up. He swallowed thickly and tried to control himself.

They didn’t _ever_ bring up their statuses. It was sort of an unspoken rule in their group of friends because of the stigma and stereotypes around them. 

If Baekhyun was clingy people would write it off as him being an _omega_ in the same way that Kyungsoo in middle school had gotten teased for being aggressive to a kid picking on Jongdae, because it was “an alpha thing to do.” 

Their friends didn’t try to carry around that weight. They didn’t rely on Junmyeon to calm them down in arguments just because he was a beta and they were “known” to be the bridge that filled the gap between alpha’s and omega’s. Because they all thought it was _bullshit_ to pretend their statuses made up their personalities. 

Chanyeol was the worst alpha known to walk on Earth if their status stereotypes dictated people’s views of them. He never pushed anything on others, he wasn’t aggressive, and he tended to care and worry more than considered normal of an alpha.

It was like saying Baekhyun wasn’t allowed to argue, or that he should listen better, because he was an omega. 

Baekhyun was sweet which was considered an omega trait _and_ Chanyeol was protective which was considered an alpha trait, but that didn’t mean they needed to mention the differences between them.

But, in this case, there was something strange about the way Baekhyun was referring to him as _alpha._ It wasn’t an insult or a compliment, instead it sounded like a title.

A title Chanyeol didn’t know how to take, but luckily Baekhyun was quietly taking it back with a whispered, _“Chanyeol. I meant Chanyeol. Sorry.”_

“It’s okay.” He mumbled, rubbing over the blanket covering Baekhyun’s arm. “What do you mean you want to cry over me?” 

Baekhyun gave a small shrug and dug his cheek into Chanyeol’s chest to pick at small fuzz balls on his hoodie, “Just… I feel bad sometimes, because you aren’t going out to do things and.. maybe going to bars or.. even meeting people… _dating…_ I don’t know, Yeol. It just feels bad.” 

“Do you want me to date someone?” Chanyeol winced and pressed his lips together in a flat line.

“Well… of course not.” 

_“Why_ not?” 

Baekhyun tilted his head up with a soft frown, “I’m really selfish… and… and if you go dating someone then you’ll spend more time with them than me and then.. we can’t do things like this. Or hug. Or lay together. Because they could get jealous that my scent is all over you.” 

“Then it’s a good thing I’m _not_ looking for someone right now.” Chanyeol tsked and cupped the back of his head to smooth down his locks, “I have too much going on with work and my best friend, I don’t have time for anything else.”

Baekhyun’s eyes shone when he gave an eye smile and plopped his head back down onto Chanyeol's collarbone, shifting so his toes pressed into the alpha’s thigh. 

“Baekhyun, I only have time for you. I’ll tell you more often. I only have time to come see my favorite little duck right here in this room.” 

“I have a lot of time…” Baekhyun muffled into his top, “But even though I do I still only want to spend all of it with you, Chanyeol. I don’t have time to spare for anyone else. I don’t _want_ to give time to anyone else.” 

“Ah, shush, you must be getting tired, Bambi, you’re saying strange things.” Chanyeol teased, “Don't give me those heart eyes, I don’t know what to do with them.” 

Baekhyun began to laugh as he shifted to throw his arms around Chanyeol's shoulders in the tightest hug he could manage. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute & then sad chapters next.


	8. About Cowardice

There was a sickly sweet scent floating around the hallways outside of Baekhyun’s room. 

Chanyeol couldn't place his finger on it, but it was making his hair stand on end. At first, he wondered if it had to do with the omega starting new medication soon, but it didn’t have that plastic _edge_ that medicine had.

The alpha furrowed his brows and pushed open the omega’s door.

“- and next time you can come call for help, honey. Don't worry. It’s very good, I’m very proud of you.” 

Chanyeol raised a silent brow as he eyed Baekhyun’s nurse and shut the door behind himself with a resonating _click._

The omega’s bed was empty, his nurse had a set of clean bedding in hand and Baekhyun looked rather embarrassed as he sat with his knees pulled under his gown.

It smelled _so_ sweet in here, like someone had lit a vanilla scented candle, but Chanyeol knew Baekhyun wasn’t allowed to have such things.

It unintentionally made him lick his lips because there was something so _inviting_ about the scent.

“Um… _hi!”_ Baekhyun squeaked, cheeks painted red and his nurse laughed as she walked past Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol found him too cute this morning, but he was so curious he couldn’t stop himself from blurting, “It smells like sugar in here.” He frowned and sniffed harder, “Did someone bring you treats?”

Baekhyun outright whimpered with embarrassment, he tucked his face in his knees before taking in a shaky breath and murmuring something against his gown.

Chanyeol didn’t catch what he said so he frowned and approached the bed to pick up his sheet; the nurses tended to get out of their hair for the most part when he came in and he appreciated it, so the least he could do was fix Baekhyun’s bed for them. “What was that?” 

“I said…” Baekhyun cleared his throat and peeked his eyes out from behind his knees to meet Chanyeol’s. “I slickened.” 

_Slick…_

Oh _fuck_ Chanyeol sounded like a pervert. He’d walked on basically saying Baekhyun’s scent was appealing to him. 

He blanched and felt his ears begin to redden as he jerked back and crossed his arms over his chest, “Oh my god. Oh fuck, I’m sorry! I’m sorry- I’ll go wait outside.” 

“It’s okay…” Baekhyun sucked his lip into his mouth and shyly avoided his eyes, “It’s been cleaned up…” 

Chanyeol nodded fast and probably looked like a scared child as he threw himself into a chair _far_ from the omega, leg bouncing up and down and waiting to see if Baekhyun was going to call him out on his slip up.

Everyone knew fertility smelled sweetest when it was from someone you were attracted to, otherwise it wouldn’t nearly have been as strong to Chanyeol - and the alpha’s reaction had been too obvious. His scrunched nose told Baekhyun how strong the scent was to him.

Baekhyun wasn’t calling him out on it. Instead, he looked both embarrassed and _angry_ as he leaned over to mess with his blankets. 

“You know, the doctor said it was good. I’ve never had that happen before and most omega’s have their first slickening in high school… he said it seems like I’m getting better.” 

Chanyeol felt a heavy relieved sigh fall from his lips, “That’s good, Baek.” 

“It doesn’t _feel_ good.” 

Chanyeol's brows pulled together in confusion and he leaned over to place elbows on his knees, “Why not, Bambi? It’s really good.” 

_“I…”_ The omega hissed to himself before tossing his legs off the side of his bed to face him, hands scrunching his gown between his fingers. “It makes me feel like _shit,_ Chanyeol. Everyone… everyone else got to experience these things years before me. I.. I _never_ got to kiss anyone, I never got to have sex, I never even got a fucking slickening. I was basically a child throughout school. _Nobody_ wants a sick omega. I’m just that fucking _kid_ that finally gets to feel somewhat like his age. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be twenty one and only just getting slick? It’s fucking embarrassing. As embarrassing as the nonexistent relationships I should have got to have. But I _didn’t._ I didn’t get to. I didn’t… Chanyeol… did I ever tell you what I really wanted?” 

Chanyeol had never seen Baekhyun this upset. It took so much to upset the omega enough for him to rant and curse like this.

Baekhyun was a pessimist, but he was so _used_ to things that at this point they didn’t get to him anymore. He barely flinched when being told he wasn’t getting better, he slept while getting his blood taken, and he simply stared when his doctor tried to ask his opinion on medication choices.

But apparently this was something that _really_ got to Baekhyun. 

Chanyeol couldn't lie to Baekhyun and say he could relate. He couldn’t relate as much as he wished he could tell the omega. He had kissed people before. Hell, he’d had sex before - albeit a drunken incident he didn’t remember - Chanyeol had plenty of options to have relationships.

Baekhyun never had the option. He was seen as being too much _work._

The least Chanyeol could do was listen to him, so the alpha nodded and rested his chin on his knuckles. “What did you want, sweetheart?” 

Baekhyun’s eyes were glossy when he looked up from his own lap. He banged a fist against his thighs with frustration written across his face and began to have slow tears fall down his cheeks. “I just.. I just wanted to be like everyone else, Chanyeol…” He sniffed and rubbed his eye, “I-I wanted to go to prom and dance and spend the night with someone after, because that’s what people do at prom, isn’t it? And.. and I know we both missed it and I feel selfish because you didn’t have to miss it for me… but.. but that’s what I wanted.. I just wanted to not be sick for _one_ night. Just for a few hours…” 

It felt like Chanyeol’s heart had been crushed to bits, because he didn’t know. If he’d known Baekhyun wanted to go this bad then he would have sucked it up and _asked him_ like all of their friends kept telling him to do.

But that wasn’t the case. He’d chickened out and what was supposed to be _will you be my date?_ turned into _do you wanna go to the drive in?_

That could have been a date too, if only Chanyeol had the guts to clarify to Baekhyun that it was more than just going to the movies like they did often. 

But he _hadn’t,_ because he was a coward. So the night of prom just consisted of Baekhyun curled up in the passenger seat with snacks and in pajamas, and Chanyeol keeping his hands to himself because he respected Baekhyun too much to do anything. 

Chanyeol even remembered Baekhyun side eyeing him and asked him what he was thinking about, but the omega must have chickened out _too,_ because he’d just shrugged and picked at his jacket.

Maybe if Chanyeol wasn’t such a coward he would have held Baekhyun’s hand when the omega put it on the middle console. Or maybe he would have told him he looked nice even in pajamas. Instead, all he’d done was reach over to tug Baekhyun’s top down when his hip was exposed with a worry of him getting chilly.

But this was his _best friend,_ and Chanyeol wouldn’t and never had risked that in order to selfishly make a move on Baekhyun. He didn’t want to jeopardize all they had. 

Now he was wondering if that’s what Baekhyun had _wanted_ him to do. Say something - _do_ something. Anything.

“God I’m so embarrassing..” 

“Baek, hey.” Chanyeol jumped from his seat to kneel down beside the bed, cupping the omega’s head and brushing his hair back as Baekhyun rubbed at his tears. “Sh, it’s okay. It’s not embarrassing. It means a lot to you. I don’t think you’re being dramatic or anything, baby.” 

Baekhyun hiccuped and leaned over to wrap arms around Chanyeol's neck, pressing his teary cheek against the alpha’s shoulder. 

“Do…” Chanyeol choked for a moment but steadied himself, “Do you want to dance now?”

 _“What?”_ The omega began to shift back to look at him, but Chanyeol held him tightly and stood up, earning a squeak of surprise from Baekhyun who scrambled to place his toes on the floor.

“I-I can’t reach the floor!” Baekhyun yelped, but he already sounded happier.

Chanyeol laughed and lowered him a bit just enough that Baekhyun could stand on top of his shoes. “Isn't this what they do when one of them is shorter? I don’t want to step on you, okay?” 

Baekhyun made a quiet noise that seemed embarrassed as he laid his head on Chanyeol's chest, clutching the alpha’s shirt at his shoulders. “I’m not that much shorter.” 

“Only an entire head shorter than me,” Chanyeol teased under his breath, circling arms around Baekhyun's thin waist. His warm palms laid on the flat of Baekhyun’s spine right where his gown was opened in the back, but for once he didn’t bother taking them back like he was caught on fire. 

“Chanyeol… we seem weird… I mean… there’s not even music.” 

He was embarrassed, but Chanyeol didn’t want him to be. This was as close as they could get to doing anything like _prom._ Even if it was about three years too late.

If Baekhyun wanted to, then it was the least he could do.

“Stop thinking so hard.” He ordered softly and began to sway a bit back and forth.

Chanyeol was the one that _should_ be embarrassed when he began to hum under his breath, he should have put a song on, but now that they were already in this position he couldn’t be bothered to.

He thought Baekhyun would laugh, but the omega didn’t. He instead fully wrapped both arms around his shoulders and his fingertips skimmed the back of Chanyeol’s neck. 

For a good few moments Chanyeol rocked them back and forth, basically carrying Baekhyun’s weight with his own until abruptly Baekhyun was standing on his tiptoes and pulled back to look at him.

Chanyeol froze and it seemed Baekhyun froze for a moment too when he realized their faces were so close to each other. 

But Baekhyun bounced back quickly, giving a slight smile with his face only a few inches away. “Did you call me _baby_ a bit ago?”

Swallowing, Chanyeol tried to ignore the fact that warm breath fanned his face and Baekhyun smelled like peaches this morning. His _scent was back._

He was relieved to smell his scent when it was untainted by medication, because he knew as soon as his body got enough of his new ones it would fade away again.

 _“Chanyeol,”_ Baekhyun whispered, eyes flickering back and forth between Chanyeol's own, “Thank you.” 

Unsure exactly what the omega was thanking him _for,_ Chanyeol squeezed his waist and thought about a response, but he didn’t need to give one.

Instead, Baekhyun was leaning closer to press their noses together with closed eyes and it was hard to determine what he was doing so Chanyeol stopped moving all together, he was frozen in place.

Baekhyun turned his head and pressed a blind kiss to his cheek, one that was warm and lasted over a minute, but the omega was too embarrassed to face him after doing so and laid his head down in his neck and clutched his shirt once more.

Chanyeol could feel a slightly damp spot on his cheek and chewed on his lip as he recalled the slightly chapped lips on his skin.

“Can we dance some more?” Baekhyun muffled into his neck.

The alpha cleared his throat and encased his arms around Baekhyun so tightly that they were pressed flush together with one of his hands covering the back of his head protectively. “Okay, baby.” 


	9. About Pain

Chanyeol was in an amazing mood today. 

This morning he’d gotten a call from his editor and they approved his outline for the spin off of _The Boy With The Light._ It was something he’d gotten rejected three times in the past - his publishing company just strongly disliked him putting out a book with an unhappy ending although he’d argued it was _realistic._

Baekhyun hadn’t gotten far enough in the book yet to know the details of the ending, but the original left on a cliff hanger and with all the uncertainty Chanyeol felt about his mate’s condition he’d been adamant on putting that pain into words for the spin off.

So, it was _sad._ Koha was a character he loved dearly, but considering he was in a world where people with powered traits were the minority, it didn’t matter what Chanyeol wrote - he just knew it had to be realistic.

Koha struggled with his gift in the story in the same way that Baekhyun struggled with his condition, and neither of those things would just change overnight no matter how hard he wanted them to.

While one of those conditions was a hundred percent a fantasy complete with a dramatic escape from a prison-like facility, romance, and magic, if Chanyeol _wanted_ then he could have given it the happiest ending ever. 

But he wanted there to be some truth to it.

Koha was in a world where people saw nothing wrong with locking all powered people away, somewhat like how hospitals tended to toss sick people into rooms and give them the bare minimum in regards to things people needed like attention. 

Chanyeol understood how entirely different the worlds were and that he shouldn’t internally compare them, but he always came back to the fact that if he wasn’t around Baekhyun would be suicidal, he would lack all motivation, and he wouldn’t even move from bed.

Nurses and doctors had jobs to do in overcrowded hospitals and couldn’t spare enough time to favor a single patient. 

So he ended the book with Koha making it into the woods. He had no survival skills, he knew nothing more than how to _run,_ but he had Leena, his love interest, and that seemed like a hopeful enough ending.

He knew Baekhyun would enjoy it, but he’d be over the moon to hear that the sequel would be years later with a rebellious theme; the omega was always a sucker for a good rebellion novel.

Chanyeol thought he was having the most amazing day today, so he’d even stopped to pick up flowers for Baekhyun - hospital approved ones of course - because he had a feeling Baekhyun would be having an amazing day _too._

But Chanyeol had never been the best at keeping his emotions from effecting his thoughts _or_ reading the atmosphere.

When he walked into the waiting room there was commotion going on. It was merely eight in the morning and doctors and nurses were running back and forth down the hallways.

The alpha raised his brows and approached the empty receptionist desk only to notice his name tag hadn’t been made yet and there were no workers taking the ringing phone calls.

Instead it looked like everyone was congregating down the first hallway in front of the elevators. There were nurses running IV stands and speaking in hushed tones outside of the hallway.

Chanyeol frowned and dropped his flowers onto the desk to start down the hall, unsure what else to do when this was strange.

“Excuse me, is there anyone that can-“

The alpha fell short when the door to Baekhyun’s room was thrown open. Not opened in a gentle manner, but tossed open with strength that made it hit the wall before Doctor Jung could be heard from inside yelling, “We need lorazepam in an IV, ASAP! If this one is like the last we’ll need a breathing tube-“

Chanyeol felt his heart jump into his throat as he rushed towards the door, pushing his way between staff that was gathered in the hall, “Dr. Jung! Dr. Jung!” 

He was pushed rather hard into the side of the wall by a flurry of nurses running into Baekhyun’s room, but he was so tall he could see right over their heads.

Baekhyun was being moved onto his side. He has IV’s already attached to his arm and his limbs were jerking. His body was shaking and his eyes were wide and staring straight ahead. 

They looked so fearful, but he wasn’t moving them at all. 

Chanyeol couldn't hear anything other than the frantic beating of his own chest and vaguely people telling him to move.

He was shoved back and forth but held his ground outside of the door until he was bursting without knowing it.

 _“Baekhyun!”_ He screamed, trying to rush into the room, but the amount of people outside were enough to hold him back as his body became heavy. They were telling him to leave, but nothing rang louder that the small grunting, painful sounding noises he could pick out from the omega seizing on the bed.

“Baekhyun! Baekhyun!” Chanyeol sobbed, his body was tense and veins were protruding from his face as warm tears slid down his cheeks.

He couldn’t lose Baekhyun like this.

Just yesterday the omega had been more lively than normal that Baekhyun had actually gotten scolded for dancing on his bed, because the omega was suddenly into dancing around with renewed enthusiasm.

Chanyeol had pretended to agree with his nurse that Baekhyun wasn’t strong enough or balanced enough to be playing around, but as soon as she’d left he’d turned the music back on and let him dance some more because he’d never let Baekhyun’s weak knees give out and for him to fall on the floor.

That’s why he was there after all, to make sure Baekhyun wouldn’t get hurt. What use was he when he couldn’t protect Baekhyun after all?

Unfortunately, he was learning there was a lot he couldn’t protect Baekhyun from as he was pushed out of the doorframe and his numb body didn’t register it until the staff forced him so far away he didn’t have a view of Baekhyun.

And that was _wrong._

Everything inside of him said he needed to keep his eyes on the omega or he would turn around and something bad would happen. 

Chanyeol rushed at the door when it slammed closed in front of his eyes and he was met with the bleached white of the door; he jiggled the doorknob, but they’d locked him out.

He wailed and slid down the wall beside the door to press his ear against it and see if he could hear _anything._

After a few moments there was a nurse that knelt next to him and he registered her saying something that was along the lines of, _“You should come sit in the waiting room, honey...”_

But Chanyeol wasn’t going to do anything. He couldn’t. 

He would sit here and cry all day until they let him see Baekhyun again.

***

When Chanyeol was let inside it was nearly three in the afternoon. 

The nurses and doctors had been going in and out of the room since about half an hour after they’d shut the door in his face, each one passing him with a pitiful look and what was supposed to be a reassuring, _“He's stable.”_ but it wasn’t reassuring. 

Chanyeol sat outside the door directly across the hall with his legs crossed and the flowers Baekhyun’s favorite nurse had brought to him from the desk in his lap all afternoon until Dr. Jung came to explain what occurred and let him in. 

Baekhyun was paler than normal. His lips were a stark white and he had a bit of drool on the side of his cheek since he’d been on a breathing tube for a few hours because his doctor was worried about him having a _third_ seizure and only god knew how much stress Baekhyun’s body could take.

Apparently he’d had a seizure at about six in the morning, the nurses had only noticed because Baekhyun had made it to the door, it had been cracked and the omega had been dropped flat on his back racked with shaking limbs.

The possibility that Baekhyun knew something was wrong or had begun to feel sick and tried to get help was high, and Chanyeol had been informed that the omega likely would have choked on his own saliva if he hadn’t tried to go for help.

It seemed unfathomable to Chanyeol - the thought that Baekhyun fought so hard and could have been lost because of a seizure… an _allergic reaction_ at that. It wasn’t seizures from his condition, but an allergic reaction from the new antibiotic the doctors had given him the night before.

It caused his mate two seizures. Ones that left his skin bruised an ugly shade of purple. Chanyeol had mostly blanked out the doctor’s explanation of how they’d cleaned his system and administered an anti-seizure medication in harmony with the antibiotics and more fluids and that it looked to be working now.

Until they knew for sure Baekhyun would be under watchful eyes and would look like some sort of experiment with all the tubes taped down on his arm.

A soft groan came from the omega at about five. A whine that made Chanyeol lift his head off the bed to check on him and begin petting his hand.

The doctor told him that he would be confused and disoriented, but when Baekhyun’s eyes opened the omega just looked _scared._

“Sh, hi, baby. Hi.. _hey.”_ Chanyeol tried to give his best smile as he brought Baekhyun’s bruised knuckles to his lips and pressed a kiss to them, thumb rubbing over the bony knobs. “I brought you flowers, the white ones you like.” 

Baekhyun looked entirely too fatigued to register that, his brows pulled together and his voice cracked when he tried to talk. 

“Don't cry, _sh._ I know, Baekhyun, I know. You're so scared.” Chanyeol fussed the second Baekhyun’s eyes began to well with tears, reaching over for his own paper cup of water on the metal table beside himself.

He got up to move and sit on the very edge of the bed in order to cup the back of Baekhyun’s head and help him drink a sip. 

“You did so good today, Bambi. _So_ good. I’m so proud of you, do you know what you did?”

Baekhyun coughed a bit and Chanyeol quickly placed the water back to help him lay down, the omega cleared his throat a few times and weakly squeezed his hand. 

“W-What?” His voice was so raw, likely from the tube that dried his throat out a few hours earlier. 

“You had _two_ s-seizures.” Chanyeol swallowed and brought his palm to Baekhyun’s cheek to wipe away a small bit of spit drying on his skin, “But you're so smart and strong and…” He couldn’t keep a straight face. 

Normally, when something bad happened it was his job to make it out like Baekhyun was just so _strong_ that he’d overcome it himself, because it felt right to let the omega feel strong at least for a little while.

But this time… it was too much. Chanyeol couldn't keep his head on to sit here and tell Baekhyun all about how he was so _proud_ that he overcame two seizures, because he’d never seen something like this before.

Baekhyun could have _died._

This wasn’t like when the omega broke out in hives, got breathless and fell, or when he passed out on a few occasions, it was two _seizures_ he’d had that had much dire risks than weak knees or bouts of side effects.

So Chanyeol couldn't sit here and pretend he was okay. He _wasn’t._ He’d cried and sobbed and left voicemails for their friends wailing and ranting about the possibility of Baekhyun _dying._

His phone was blowing up with messages not only saying that they were coming down to check on Baekhyun but to check on _him._

Chanyeol hadn’t a clue what he’d do if he ever lost Baekhyun. It wasn’t something he tried to think about; he was supposed to be the _optimistic_ one.

But for once he wasn’t. For once he was the one breaking down in sobs and clutching Baekhyun’s knuckles to his lips. 

_“I thought I- I thought I lost you. Ba.. Baekhyun you can’t leave me. D-Don't leave me. I’ll do.. anything, just don’t…”_

Chanyeol never acted like this. He never couldn’t finish his sentences because he was overcome with grief, nor would he ever try to make Baekhyun promise something he had no control over, but he had no other choice.

The alpha leaned over to press his cheek against Baekhyun’s chest gently, in a way the omega tended to rest on him when he slipped into his lap, like he wanted to be the one comforted.

It was _selfish._ He felt so selfish, but Chanyeol didn’t know what to do or say. 

“Chan…” Baekhyun croaked, turning his palm around to cup his cheek, tiredly resting slender fingers on his temple, “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Chanyeol gulped down tears as he removed Baekhyun’s hand from his cheek and sat up to sniff hard, bringing the omega’s hand onto his own chest and adjusting his gown over him.

“Are you cold?” He worried, jumping from his seat as if nothing ever happened despite his face being stained with wet lines, turning to grab the folded blanket from the end of the bed. 

His eyes trailed over the bruises on Baekhyun’s legs as he unraveled the blanket over top of him. “Do you need any other medicine? Are you sore?”

“Uh… a little..” 

“Well, you took a few good bruises,” Chanyeol cleared his throat and bent at the waist to tuck the blanket around Baekhyun’s hips. “But it’s nothing to fuss over. They said that…” He trailed off when Baekhyun suddenly placed the tips of his fingers to the side of his mouth. 

Baekhyun looked directly at his lips as he brushed lingering tears off the sharp edge of his jaw before meeting his eyes, “Chanyeol.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m not going _anywhere_ if you’re not there to meet me _.”_

Chanyeol's face pulled together in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, but he burst like a leaky faucet and launched at Baekhyun to wrap his upper body up in a hug. 

If it hurt the omega, he didn’t say it, and if Baekhyun worried about his breathless sobbing, he didn’t comment.

Instead, Baekhyun sighed warmly against his cheek and laid his forehead on Chanyeol’s temple, his right hand resting on the alpha’s opposite cheek.

“If I’m going anywhere it’s going to be to your house..” He mumbled, voice slightly wavering like he was unsure of his own claims, “And I’m going to look at everything. And.. take up your bed, like when we were kids. I’m going to bug you so much you’ll wish you never opened the door for me.” 

Chanyeol laughed, but it sounded more like a choked wail as he turned his head to press his nose into Baekhyun’s forehead. “I thought I lost you.” 

“I have too many things I haven’t done yet. I’m not going anywhere.” 

It was cute the way Baekhyun acted like he had a choice in the matter.

Chanyeol squeezed him to his chest, pulling back the smallest bit just to press a kiss to Baekhyun’s forehead. 

He didn’t try to be discreet. He didn’t care anymore. This was his _mate_ and he’d be damned if he didn’t give Baekhyun all the love he had.

“I really love when you hold me like this.” 

Chanyeol sniffled and pet his thumb over the shell of his ear, “I really love to hold you like this, Bambi.” 


	10. About Snowfall

Baekhyun had been up and on his feet within a day. 

He’d been bouncing around his room and climbing into Chanyeol’s lap within two, and his doctor had been checking if his antibiotics were working a week later.

They _were._

For once Chanyeol hadn’t dreaded when the doctor pulled him aside to fill him in with some long explanations that he didn’t truly understand. 

All he heard was that Baekhyun would be getting some more tests done within the next few weeks, but it looked like his system was fighting off the bacteria in his body _finally._

But there were some strange things happening other than his infection being treated.

Baekhyun’s ankles and legs had begun to retain fluid, he’d been having chest soreness, and although Chanyeol tried to keep his nose out of Baekhyun’s business, he’d heard the omega tell his doctor his urine output had decreased drastically. 

It wasn’t good news, but bad news _with_ good news was still felt better than getting all bad news.

“It sounds like his heartbeat is irregular, but that could be because it’s filtering bacteria.” Doctor Jung commented, pulling his stethoscope away from Baekhyun, “Don’t go playing around, alright? Just for a bit longer.” He ordered.

Chanyeol noticed the omega didn’t verbally agree to that and snickered as Baekhyun turned to flop a hand towards him for help off the bed. 

“I’ll watch him,” Chanyeol waved the doctor off, pulling the omega to his feet and off the bed.

Baekhyun seemed to be in such a snuggly mood today because he wrapped around his waist like a leech and sent him a beaming, toothy smile.

Chanyeol couldn't help the fondness that trickled through his veins as he pet the hair from Baekhyun’s vision. “Right? No playing around, Baek?”

The omega grumbled and tucked his face into Chanyeol’s chest. It made the alpha snort and look up to send a quick goodbye to Baekhyun’s doctor.

“Alright, Bambi,” Chanyeol murmured, taking a seat on Baekhyun's bed and trying to unleech the omega.

That didn’t seem to be happening anytime soon though because Baekhyun released him only to climb onto his bed and drop himself on Chanyeol’s lap.

His gown drooped down the front of his chest and he flopped on his back across Chanyeol’s legs with his arms and legs starfished out and a heavy breath. Baekhyun blinked at him a couple of times before closing his eyes and releasing a whine for attention.

“Okay, baby. You're so needy today,” Chanyeol laughed and began to pet his forehead, “Why's that? Something happening I should know about?”

“My body feels like jello.” 

Chanyeol snickered and shook his head but he knew the omega was probably not kidding seeing as Baekhyun’s lower limbs were all swollen.

The nurse theorized that it was fluid retention from the anti seizure medication, but Chanyeol wasn’t sure, he didn’t know much about medical things so he always took their word for it.

“Then you should stay still like the doctor keeps telling you.” 

Baekhyun whined at that and brought his hands up to fiddle with the collar of his gown, “Don't tell me what to do, I’m older.”

Chanyeol hummed and couldn't help staring at the shiny scar that ran straight down the omega’s chest. He knew he shouldn’t considering Baekhyun was self conscious about it, but it was rare he was given the chance to blatantly look at it and he was curious.

“You're also less mature.” 

“Now that’s just plain _rude.”_

Chanyeol snorted and brushed back Baekhyun’s hair from his face which caused the omega to open his eyes and peer up at him.

For some odd, mysterious reason, Baekhyun looked extra pretty today. 

He didn’t know if it was because the omega had gotten a nice long shower earlier so his hair was still damp and holding shape when he brushed it from his face, or if it was simply because he looked happier today. 

Either way, Baekhyun looked _extra_ pretty. Which said a lot considering Chanyeol was sometimes choked up just looking at the curve of his button nose and the crinkle he got beside his eyes when he laughed really hard.

Something about simply looking at Baekhyun when the omega was doing something he really liked just reminded him of the older days, back when Baekhyun was free to climb on diner booths and get yelled at by staff, or when the omega was the only one of them who accepted any dares they made up for him. 

It was a weird wish, but Chanyeol wished he had the energy to get himself in trouble again. Nowadays the most trouble Baekhyun got into was for wearing himself out, nothing compared to all the trouble he’d get into at the skatepark or in middle school.

Baekhyun _loved_ trouble. 

“Why are you staring like a creep?” 

“And you say _I’m_ rude,” Chanyeol retorted, snickering as he leaned back on his palms, “And to think I was going to say you were…” He gulped hard at his own blabbermouth and cleared his throat as he reached over for the remote for Baekhyun’s bed to sit it up. “Never mind.” 

“No…” The omega frowned and shifted to sit up properly and look at him, “What were you saying?”

“I wasn’t-“

 _“Chanyeol.”_ Baekhyun said firmly, “I’m curious. Is this about… um.. you were looking at my scar, I know it looks a little ugly, but it’s really not… painful or…” 

“What?” The alpha shook his head frantically, “No. Baek, I wasn’t thinking that… you know I don’t think it’s ugly. Stop. I don’t think _you’re_ ugly. Shit. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was zoning out.” 

The omega looked at him with this soft, insecure pout and his fingers fiddling with the front of his gown. He licked his lips and dropped his eyes down onto his gown before giving a very fake nod of acceptance of his response.

Chanyeol groaned and grabbed Baekhyun’s hand, collecting the small digits between his own to lift up to his lips and press a gentle peck to his knuckles.

“You’re as beautiful as fresh snowfall. You know I _love_ winter, Baekhyun.” 

When they were young it was basically an excuse to have slumber parties. Baekhyun would call his house phone as soon as the snow started falling to tell him to, _“look outside, Yeol!”_

When they were younger it was just fun to make Chanyeol’s mom go out to pick Baekhyun up just so the two could watch scary movies and play in the snow with the excuse that, _“It’s the beginning of winter, mom!”_ as if that was a proper explanation. 

But when they got older and Baekhyun was no longer able to sit through movies, or go outside to toss snowballs at people’s mailboxes like rambunctious heathens, it was just an excuse to be close.

Baekhyun would usually already be over, but he’d try to stay up and would lay against Chanyeol’s side at the window with heavy breathing and dull eyes. 

Chanyeol always brought hot chocolate and never forgot to make sure to remove the cup from Baekhyun’s hand before he fell asleep and the sweet drink went scattering across the windowsill. 

Neither of them ever told their friends about it, even when they were young, because they knew the moment they did the wolves would ascend and make _their_ sleepover _everyone’s_ sleepover.

“I don’t know about that…” Baekhyun’s tone was taken back and shocked, “The snow is very beautiful… especially when we went to the mountains that one time. So beautiful.” 

The alpha hummed an agreement, laying their locked fingers gently on Baekhyun’s chest and sighing as he leaned down to press his cheek into soft hair.

In the short period Baekhyun had been “better” after his surgery Chanyeol had taken him to the mountains with the plan to finally confess in this little, slightly dingy cabin he'd rented with his first check from his short story. 

That wasn’t what happened. 

Instead, Baekhyun had been violently sick only after the first day, so he spent the entire three days crying in the bed with a bowl at his side and yelling at Chanyeol went the alpha tried to reason with him that they should go back home. 

Baekhyun hated to be a nuisance, but sometimes things were too much.

Chanyeol just wished he’d known it was a sign of his infection, because the antibiotics didn't work. There were a lot of things he wished he knew. 

He still vividly remembered on the first night going to sleep on the couch in the cabin that was too small for him, so his knees laid over the arm and his calves hung off of it, only for a small, teary eyed omega to drag himself and a blanket out of the room to climb onto his chest like a puppy seeking it's owner.

Only Baekhyun was very much a person who was so small he fit curled up on his chest in a ball and whispered a short, _“why didn’t you come to bed with me?”_

_“I wanted to give you space since you don’t feel well.”_

_“I never feel well,”_ Baekhyun's eyes looked like they held more intent when he turned his head to look up at him, _“And I don’t want space.”_

Chanyeol slept in the bedroom with him all three days after that and couldn’t help feeling like everytime Baekhyun looked at him it was filled with disappointment. Not towards Chanyeol, but towards himself.

Chanyeol shifted and leaned back against the bed that was sat up, gently grabbing Baekhyun beneath his armpits earning a soft giggle when he pulled the omega more into his chest rather than in his lap.

Baekhyun laughed and turned to curl up onto his chest, bringing knees in and fixing his IV wire so to the side. He rested his cheek against Chanyeol's collarbone and blinked up at him with these soft, content eyes.

Overwhelmed by such a look, Chanyeol nearly didn’t get out what he was going to say, but he pushed through in favor of not saying anything at all. 

“I never lie to you, if I say you’re beautiful then you’re beautiful and handsome _and_ pretty. Whatever word you want to hear, Bambi.” 

The omega released a small, squeaky noise of surprise and brought his loose gown over his cheek as if it would cover his blush despite it running over his ears too.

Snorting, Chanyeol rolled his eyes at his dramatics and brought a warm palm to Baekhyun’s swollen ankle that lay against his thigh to gently massage the swelling.

 _“Yeol…”_ Baekhyun sounded slightly mischievous, but the alpha just hummed an acknowledgement, “When it snows can you carry me outside.” 

“Of course, Baek.” 

There was silence for only a few beats before there was a soft, _“Yeol…”_ once more.

“Just say it, bunny.” Chanyeol cackled and poked a playful finger into Baekhyun’s ribs with the arm that rested around the omega’s side. 

“Okay.” Baekhyun smacked his lips before he was turning his head to hide in Chanyeol's collarbone, “I like pretty or beautiful _,_ just because I want to call you handsome or cute instead of me.” 

With a thick swallow, Chanyeol smiled and pressed a chaste kiss against Baekhyun’s messy hair, heart beating out of his chest. 

_“Beautiful_ it is then, Baekhyun.” 


	11. About Mates

_ Conditions on top of conditions on top of conditions. _

Baekhyun never got a break.  _ Ever.  _

First, the chances of his hole in his heart not healing when he was just a baby had been so slim, yet he’d been left with such a gigantic one he'd needed surgery.

Secondly, said surgery led him to need antibiotics to prevent infection - only his parents never gave them to him as prescribed.

Chanyeol thought the third,  _ final  _ condition and health issue Baekhyun would have would be endocarditis and finding the correct medication to treat it instead of surgery, because it had taken them  _ so  _ fucking long to even find a medication that worked. 

Of course not. Things couldn’t be that easy. 

Baekhyun’s doctor had come in earlier spouting nonsense they didn’t understand such as, “Infective endocarditis is a serious condition characterized by a high mortality rate particularly due to acute renal failure.” 

In other words, Baekhyun’s kidneys were failing. 

They’d noticed the symptoms a few weeks ago, swollen limbs, fluid retention, nausea, but given Baekhyun’s normal odd symptoms of infection nobody had really thought twice about it.

Not until he began to  _ cry _ about pain in his bladder, yet was unable to pee and his blood pressure, when checked, had dropped drastically. 

One of his kidneys had completely shut down and stopped filtering waste from his blood, and the second was trying to push on with little help.

Chanyeol just couldn’t believe his ears. 

In fact, he was  _ pissed.  _

It was so irrational of him. It was so immature because this was a fucking  _ condition,  _ it wasn’t something he could physically take care of or fight away for Baekhyun, yet he had so much anger in his body. 

He was pacing the room and barely registered Baekhyun requesting his doctor leave so they could discuss things, but Chanyeol hadn’t even listened to much of what the doctor has said considering he heard the words  _ kidney failure  _ and felt like everything was falling apart once again, just like when he heard  _ heart condition  _ or  _ heart lining infection. _

Couldn't Baekhyun get a fucking break? He wasn’t asking for much.

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest from where he was propped up on his bed, licking his lips nervously as he eyed the alpha’s back.

Chanyeol's jaw clenched, he stopped in front of the window just to take a deep breath before he accidentally snapped at Baekhyun. He stared at the small flower box that hung outside the hospital window.

They’d just put it in a while ago, less than a week before, because Jongdae brought seeds and when Chanyeol walked into the hospital room he found the two sitting on the floor discussing how to sneak flowerpots in here.

Being the person he was, Chanyeol brought some supplies the next day  _ with  _ approval from his nurse to hang the flowers out the window so other patients with potential pollen allergies wouldn’t be affected. 

“Chanyeol… it.. it really isn’t too big of a deal, the doctor said we could try… dialysis and remove the toxins through my blood until my kidneys heal…  _ if  _ they heal…” 

Chanyeol silently scoffed, but he made sure Baekhyun didn’t see it considering the omega was just trying to calm him down. “And that’s what he said was best to do? You have a fucking  _ damaged  _ and useless kidney and he wants to let it what?  _ Heal? Maybe?  _ I fucking… I blame this on all the medication they tried on you like you were a goddamn lab rat. Kidney failure can be from too much medication - everyone knows that!” 

He breathed heavily for a second from his rant and heard the soft sound of Baekhyun’s gown rubbing against the side of the bed with every swing of the omega’s legs back and forth.

“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol sighed and grabbed the bridge of his nose as he leaned on the windowsill. “It’s frustrating. Your abdomen is all swollen because you can’t pee and they only  _ just  _ discovered this despite all the signs. They’re doctors. They can’t just  _ make a guess  _ about someone’s conditions. I knew you were having too many side effects compared to normal.” 

“Chan… that’s the thing.” Baekhyun gave a small, light laugh, “There’s no normal for me, I've always been on different things. Nobody  _ knew  _ what my “normal” was. It’s not their fault. They’re going to figure out what to do. Whether it be medicine…. surgery… or dialysis, they’ll fix it, so please calm down, you're scaring me.” 

_ Scaring Baekhyun?  _

That sounded laughable considering this omega used to dress up every year as a vampire covered in blood for Halloween and torment younger kids, if  _ anyone  _ was scared here it was Chanyeol.

Baekhyun was completely used to everything going wrong. 

But after a deep breath Chanyeol realized Baekhyun meant his reaction was worrying to him, it wasn’t like him to act out and react so strongly like this. 

At least not in  _ front  _ of Baekhyun.

“I’m sorry, come here.” Chanyeol spun around with a neutral expression to offer his hands and tug Baekhyun off the bed, careful of the IV taped to his arm as the omega’s feet met the tiles and he came closer to stare up at him with concern swirling in his eyes.

Chanyeol felt guilty seeing him look at  _ him  _ concerned. After all, Baekhyun was the one experiencing all of these complications. 

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Chanyeol murmured, bringing a palm to cup Baekhyun’s face, voice a whisper, “I’m just worked up because I care about you, you know that. I’m just… I just want you to get out of this hospital.” 

Baekhyun smiled with closed lips and nodded discreetly as he curled his hands onto the edge of Chanyeol’s shirt, “I know. It’s okay. I’m just… I just don’t want you to get angry, because there’s no reason to get angry when we can’t fix anything. We don’t have a hand in this, Yeol. We just have to let the doctors figure it out and I guess…  _ wait.”  _

Chanyeol was so goddamn tired of  _ waiting  _ though. He wanted Baekhyun out as fast as possible, but wanting Baekhyun  _ out  _ and wanting Baekhyun to come  _ out and be healthy  _ we’re two very different things.

The second just meant there was a lot of patience he needed to have, but it’d been over a year and his patience was running low.

“Okay,” Chanyeol muttered, cupping the back of Baekhyun’s head to pull him into a hug, “Tell me what else you heard, baby.” 

“Well, he said they were going to regulate potassium because I guess it’s processed directly through kidneys so that could be why everything is blocked up since my second one is still working…” 

“Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad.” 

Baekhyun clicked his tongue and Chanyeol internally groaned as he squeezed the omega’s shoulders and laid his chin onto his hair.

“Spit it out, bunny.” 

“Well… he said he wasn’t too sure about my second kidney having the…  _ capacity  _ to really handle everything on it's own. Because I’m on so much medication and I’d… Chanyeol, I’d rather keep taking my medications considering they  _ work  _ than risk stopping and having to start over. I don’t want to go back to the beginning, I finally fell just a little  _ better.  _ The chest pain isn’t happening and I haven’t gotten a headache in a long time…” Baekhyun trailed off with his thin arms loosely holding onto Chanyeol’s waist, fists clenched into his sweatshirt.

“What did he say he preferred to do?” Chanyeol asked reluctantly, gently separating from Baekhyun just to place him back onto the bed so he could look at him.

It was easier to gage Baekhyun’s agreement or disagreement when looking at him and watching the small scrunch of his nose when he disagreed or the curled corner of his lip when he did. 

Baekhyun shuffled onto his bedding as Chanyeol pulled a chair in front of the side of the bed, placing himself in front of the omega’s dangling legs to tug his gown further down his thighs without even looking anywhere but his face. 

“Well,” Baekhyun pressed his lips together lick he wasn’t quite sure how Chanyeol would react as he tucked his hair behind both of his ears.

It looked both cute and silly because his ears looked so big compared to his little face, and such an action looked so childish. 

But Baekhyun looked pretty all the time, even more so when his hair wasn’t blocking his eyes, so all Chanyeol did was reach up to fix a single, short strand of hair that he’d missed off to the side too.

“He said that the most successful way would be a transplant. It would not only help filter my medications better, but the potential of recovering completely is really high. I- well, this morning he asked if I wanted to be put on the list, but it’s  _ really  _ long and I wanted to wait and see what you thought…” 

“Why?” Chanyeol frowned, “Baek, if you have an opportunity to get well, to… to  _ completely  _ get well, then why wouldn’t you take it? My only thought is that I thought they considered you too thin and vulnerable for surgery.”

“Um…” Baekhyun shuffled and pressed his knees together as he looked down at his lap, “This one kind of outweighs the cons of a surgery. Plus, kidney transplants are far easier and more common. I mean… don’t get upset, okay?” 

“Why would I get upset with you?” Chanyeol scrunched his nose a bit in amusement and tapped Baekhyun’s cheek with a single finger, “Why so nervous? Just get it out, Bambi.” 

Baekhyun looked  _ incredibly _ nervous though. He riddled with his nails and picked at them loudly. 

Chanyeol disliked it when he did that because on more than a few occasions he found the ends of his nails mangled to bits with his endless, nervous picking. It’d been a while since he'd seen it  _ this  _ bad though, so he wondered if Baekhyun had been doing it since this morning when he wasn’t here yet. 

The alpha laid a hand over both of Baekhyun’s to catch his attention, and only then did the omega look up at him with his head still lowered. 

“The doctor said if my mate was willing to be my donor then the chances of recovery would be a hundred percent. He said there had never been a case of someone’s body rejecting their mate’s blood or organs. There are studies saying it’s impossible even.” 

For a moment, Chanyeol wondered why Baekhyun said  _ don’t be upset,  _ because why in the world would he be upset at the prospect of Baekhyun recovering in  _ full  _ and potentially  _ quickly?  _

Until he saw the slight shine of Baekhyun’s eyes and his nails that were digging into his own thighs -  _ oh,  _ he meant  _ don’t be upset _ because he  _ knew.  _ Because he knew this entire time.

Chanyeol felt a breathy, single chuckle crawl up his throat and wasn’t sure exactly what the feeling was that he had. 

Was he upset? Maybe a little bit considering Baekhyun was months older than him, meaning he’d have learned they were mate’s long before he did.

Was he happy? There was no gaging the look in Baekhyun’s eye, so Chanyeol wasn’t sure how to react just yet to the information.

Maybe he was just  _ relieved.  _ The weight on his shoulders suddenly felt like they’d lessened because at least now they were  _ both  _ complete idiots that hadn’t ever said a thing.

Chanyeol had known, and figured, they shared the same feelings - he wasn’t  _ stupid,  _ he and Baekhyun played chase around ever since they were kids - but the confessing part wasn’t exactly on his to do list when Baekhyun was in a hospital where he literally couldn’t run away from him and his affection if he  _ wanted  _ to. 

Baekhyun didn’t ever look like he wanted to, but looking at him right now and  _ knowing  _ that they both knew was much different than just going for a few hugs and pretending they were friendly ones.

Chanyeol got up and saw the slight panic in Baekhyun's eyes as the omega shifted to follow, but the alpha was already throwing the door open and taking a step out.

“Excuse me,” Chanyeol muttered and stopped a nurse the second Baekhyun grabbed onto his bicep, “Can you ask Doctor Jung to come back here? My mate wants to do the transplant.” 


	12. About Love

They didn’t have to wait long for the surgery. 

In fact, since Baekhyun was considered _urgently_ in need of a transplant Chanyeol had been shocked when he received a call late at night from Doctor Jung asking what time worked for him that coming Monday.

That weekend the hospital had no visitation, so basically it had only taken a few days for them to schedule in Baekhyun’s transplant.

It was a Friday that Chanyeol confirmed he was willing to donate a kidney, and that Monday he'd walked into the hospital and dragged into a room to change into a gown.

It was strange to wear a hospital gown, he felt so uncovered, but if Baekhyun could get used to it then he could deal with a few days of it.

“Hey,” Chanyeol swallowed and pushed the door shut behind himself as he entered the room a nurse had pointed him to.

Surgery rooms _never_ looked great. They had all these bright lights and it smelled of cleaning solutions horribly. 

But this room had _Baekhyun_ in it, seated on one of the two cots with his legs pulled close and a pack of sliced apples in front of him.

“Are you allowed to be eating before surgery?” Chanyeol laughed and moved to take a spot on the side of Baekhyun’s cot. 

The omega barely looked away from his package of apples like he was _so_ interested in reading the back of them that had all these childish cartoons on it. 

“Nurse brought them to me.” 

Humming, Chanyeol reached over to steal one before shifting to mimick Baekhyun with a criss-crossed position.

Baekhyun looked up at him through his hair, “You look funny in a gown.” 

Chanyeol burst with laughter and leaned over to collect Baekhyun’s shoulders in a hug, “I’m about to give you an organ and you just make fun of me? _Rude,_ Baek. You're so rude.” 

The omega giggled into his neck and latched onto the sleeve of his gown when Chanyeol sat back, shifting to tug his own gown over his lap with one hand.

“Did you have a good weekend?” Chanyeol asked softly, “It’s a shame this weekend was for room cleanings, I feel like we have a lot to talk about.” 

That made Baekhyun’s eyes widen a bit and a blush crawled across his face as he dropped his chin down against his chest. 

They really hadn’t had time to discuss anything at all. On Friday, after Doctor Jung came rushing in, they’d spent the last two hours of visitation just signing papers and Baekhyun had to call the foundation to let them know about the sudden addition to his medical plan. 

They barely even spoke, and not anything regarding the _mate_ topic. It was just a few quick questions and answers like, “What did they say?” “They said to go ahead and proceed.” 

By the end of that day, Chanyeol's fingers were stained with black ink and his hand was sore from all the writing, so he’d gone home with a short _i'll see you Monday_ and a hug _,_ not even knowing Monday would be the day of surgery.

“Hey, why are you worrying?” Chanyeol had it in him to laugh as he brushed down a hair on Baekhyun’s head that was sticking straight up, “It's just me. You know I’m not going to say anything bad. It’s just… we should talk about it, right?” 

“You say _just me_ as if I’m not supposed to feel weird saying _we’re mate’s_ out loud. In my head it didn’t make my heart race and now I feel like I might pass out.” Baekhyun admitted, eyes glued to his own thighs. 

Given they’d been friends for so long Chanyeol couldn’t lie and say it didn’t feel weird to finally admit to anything. It did feel strange, but that didn’t mean they had to _act_ strange with each other.

“Really? In my head it felt like a dream, and now I’m just confused,” Chanyeol chided, watching the chocolate eyes of the omega glance up at him shyly. 

Baekhyun gave him a few glances before finally sitting up straight, “You think being mated to me is a dream? I was always scared that… well, I was too much and you wouldn’t want a sick mate.” 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” 

Baekhyun pressed his lips together and gave a short, single nod of agreement before the corner of his lip raised in a threat of a smile, “Is it supposed to be that simple?” 

“Please, Bambi..” Chanyeol laughed, “If you would have said something when _you_ found out at fifteen then we wouldn’t be walking circles around each other this long.”

“What!” Baekhyun cried and sat up on his knees to deliver a weak smack to Chanyeol’s shoulder, “Why was it my job! You're the alpha, you're supposed to tell me!”

_“Yah! Being an alpha doesn't mean I wasn’t worried!”_

They both burst into laughter and by then Baekhyun was sitting up on his knees and clutching his gown for support as his limbs went weak with his giggles. 

Chanyeol wrapped a hand around his back and was tugging down his gown to fix it when his fingers brushed the soft skin on Baekhyun’s thighs. 

The omega froze and Chanyeol quickly fixed his gown before retracting his hands, “Sorry. My hands are cold, I know.” 

If Baekhyun found it strange of him to react like that, he didn’t comment. “We’re mates, you don’t have to apologize for touching me.” 

Chanyeol's mouth felt dry at the sudden comment and at Baekhyun looking at him with this sudden sheepish expression. 

He wanted to kiss him so badly. 

Of course that didn’t happen though. Instead, the door to the surgery room flew open and Chanyeol saw Baekhyun’s eyes tinge with worry as the nurses slipped inside to ready supplies.

“Hey,” The alpha soothed, climbing off the bed but not forgetting to run a palm across Baekhyun’s arm to calm him down, “I’m right here. The _entire_ time. I’ll see you when we wake up, okay?”

Baekhyun swallowed hard and shifted to lay back down onto his cot facing him, “Okay, Chanyeol.” 

***

When Chanyeol woke up he was in darkness. The hospital room was dark except for a small light right beside him.

He shifted to look that way and found his head felt very _light,_ probably the side effect from the anesthesia they’d knocked him out with. 

Baekhyun was already awake and within an arm's reach. Their beds were so close that the little book light Baekhyun had latched onto Chanyeol’s book was lighting up the alpha’s space too.

“Hey..” Chanyeol croaked, tossing an arm out so his fingertips touched the side of Baekhyun’s bed. “What time is it? Did everything go okay?”

The omega seemed like he'd been up for a long time. He had crackers and a water bottle beside him and his eyes lit up when Chanyeol started to talk. 

“You slept so long,” Baekhyun giggled, “It’s three in the morning, Yeol. I must be more used to surgeries than you,” He teased.

Chanyeol snickered and brought a hand up to rub his face, “That’s not a good thing, Baek.” 

“Hey, I’m winning in the “ _how many surgery scars can a person get”_ category, don’t bring me down.” Baekhyun complained as he tossed his book onto the floor. “But really, it’s so weird to have company in my room, and now I have company all week.” 

A smile spread across Chanyeol's lips and he couldn’t deny that considering he did have to stay at least five days after surgery for recovery. 

“That’s right, I nearly forgot about that.” Chanyeol commented, shifting up onto his elbows. 

He couldn’t really feel any soreness, not yet at least, it was only a minimally invasive surgery so the scar wasn’t going to be too bad, but he didn’t care about that. 

He just cared that Baekhyun seemed like he had more life in him than ever before.

“You know what’s funny,” Baekhyun laughed and rolled onto his side, looking at him with a palm beneath his cheek, “As soon as I woke up I was like “help! I need to pee!” A little boy stared at me funny, but I couldn’t help it. The nurse just wheeled me out laughing.” 

Chanyeol's nose scrunched up as he laughed, it wasn’t hard to picture such a thing considering Baekhyun had no filter, but it was nice that the omega wanted to kid around so soon after a surgery. 

“You’re silly, baby…” 

“And then on the way back I even convinced the nurse to let me stop and get jello. The cafeteria staff gave me chocolate pudding instead, they were so nice to me, Chanyeol.” 

“Of course they were. You’re so nice to everyone, so they have to be nice too. It’s hard to be rude to you when you have puppy eyes, Baek.” 

Baekhyun giggled with his face half hidden behind his hand.

Chanyeol didn’t know what got into him, if anything he should be resting and sleeping like normal, but Baekhyun looked really happy to mess around all night.

Maybe he was just happy to have a roommate for a bit. Baekhyun always did say he hated to be alone.

At that thought, Chanyeol was reminded of all the times they had sleepovers. 

Baekhyun always hogged the covers and starfished everywhere and moved around a lot, but the past year or so had really made the omega relax in his sleep. He didn’t move around as much, likely because he had no energy to.

Chanyeol would take a smack to the face when they shared a bed over the omega just seeming so _dead_ and still. 

“Scoot over.” Chanyeol groaned and sat up to slip off his bed, grabbing onto the metal side table and getting a loud gasp of shock from Baekhyun.

“You’re not supposed to walk around, Yeol!” Baekhyun scolded, shoving himself against the side of the bed that was against the wall and holding his blanket beneath his chin.

“Oh shush, you’re not allowed to tell me what to do when you run around all the time and never listen to the nurses saying _chill.”_ Chanyeol teased, his eyes half hooded with sleep, and he felt like he was going to pass out any second.

But he was sure Baekhyun wouldn’t mind if he passed out in his bed.

Baekhyun had a smile on his face that spread ear to ear when Chanyeol’s settled down beside him and made himself comfortable. 

The omega laid a hand against his chest and settled his head on Chanyeol's shoulder, “Be careful of stitches, Chan, I don’t want you to get hurt.” Baekhyun scolded softly despite his bright smile.

Chanyeol hummed an acknowledging sound and pet Baekhyun’s cheek, eyes slightly foggy with sleep and he felt like he was walking on clouds. “Okay, baby.” 

“And you have to take your medication on time, okay?”

_“Okay, Bambi…”_

“And you have to eat all the gross food they bring us, no matter how gross, and…” Baekhyun fell short when he noticed Chanyeol’s eyes were slipping shut and the alpha’s hand on his cheek was just simply resting there. 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked softly, raising a hand to cup Chanyeol's cheek, brushing his thumb below his eye only to get no response. 

The omega pressed his lips together nervously and ran his fingers over his face. He ran fingertips over his brow bone and nose before resting the tip of his finger beside Chanyeol’s mouth.

It was strange for him so see Chanyeol the one asleep. Normally Chanyeol was wide awake and never had a moment of being tired, or he didn’t show it. 

Baekhyun was always the one slipping into dreamland in broad daylight. 

_“Alpha?”_ Baekhyun cooed, checking once more if he was bordering on consciousness. 

The omega sighed under his breath before leaning over to connect his lips to the alpha’s cheek just beside his lips. 

“Sleep well and have a good dream… _I love you.”_


	13. About Change

Chanyeol brought his laptop with him because he knew he’d have to stay at the hospital for a bit, and Baekhyun kept catching him on it.

The omega kept looking at him, then away, then looking, and constantly cycling through staring before getting caught.

Baekhyun was a really cute roommate. He was just adorable.

For the first two days he wanted to talk endlessly, just like when they were younger, but after he ran out of stuff to talk about he just went about the room doing random things like he had his own routine.

Well, Chanyeol supposed he did have a routine, one that was very different than the average persons considering he only had one single room of space and wasn’t allowed to walk around much. 

The omega would go across the room every night to choose from his stack of stuffed animals and toss one onto his bed to use like a pillow only to abandon it in favor of grabbing Chanyeol when the alpha moved over after the nurses did their last check up on them.

And every morning Baekhyun woke up with a puppy-like yawn and got up to dig through his little fridge as if he had anything to cook.

Chanyeol was just hoping Baekhyun could get out of here  _ soon  _ so that he could actually cook himself breakfast if that’s what his mate had been searching for. 

“You’re staring again.” Chanyeol muttered, laughing as he looked towards the end of his bed where Baekhyun was lying on the floor on his blanket, he had a stack of books he was messing with but Chanyeol had watched him open and close each one about five times already. 

“I’m not.” Baekhyun pouted. “I’m just…  _ looking.”  _

“Get up here, Bambi.” Chanyeol laughed and shifted to the side of the bed. 

Baekhyun giggled and Chanyeol fondly rolled his eyes because that alone let him know the omega had been waiting for an invitation the entire time. 

“Come on come on…” Chanyeol hummed and wrapped an arm around his hips to help him slide into his bed, “My little koala.” 

“I’m  _ not…”  _ Baekhyun whined once again, pressing a very fake frown onto his face and dropping his cheek against Chanyeol's shoulder. “I’m not a koala, Yeol.” 

With that sort of pout Chanyeol was sure as hell Baekhyun could be whatever the fuck he wanted. 

“Right.” Chanyeol said softly, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun’s forehead and taking in a breath of slightly medicinal smelling peaches. 

It was still as strong of a scent of Baekhyun that he'd had in a while, and just the fact that he could smell it through all his medicine was an amazing sign.

“Chanyeol?” The omega mumbled and grasped his hand to set on his lap, “Do you think I’ll get out soon?”

“I do.” Chanyeol smiled and nodded, “I do, baby.” 

“Then…” Baekhyun’s nose scrunched up a bit and he looked down at their hands, “Do you think I’ll have to go to my parents?”

_ “No.”  _ Chanyeol said instantly, probably too sharp because Baekhyun’s eyes widened, “Sorry. No, baby. No. Why would you go back there? You're coming home with me. The  _ second  _ they pull out those release forms I’m going to be pulled up in front of the hospital to pack your stuff into my car.” 

A smile spread from ear to ear on the omega before he tilted his head down and giggled as he laid Chanyeol’s palm on his inner thigh.

Chanyeol swallowed when he noticed he could feel the heat coming from between Baekhyun’s legs, but the omega was holding his wrist still at his inner thigh. He didn’t know what Baekhyun was playing at - if he was trying to force him to get used to him like…  _ this,  _ all he knew was Baekhyun was pushing a bit too hard. 

It had been really hard to try and think anything more of Baekhyun or his body seeing as he was so sick there were much more pressing issues happening. But even then it didn’t change that he was gorgeous and Chanyeol always thought him incredibly beautiful.

“Can we… start packing now?”

“Oh, baby.” Chanyeol tsked and pulled his hand from his hold to cup his face and turn his cheek up to look at him. “We don’t know when you can leave, I’m sorry. We shouldn’t pack until we get a date.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes instantly dulled like Chanyeol had just given him the worst news he’d ever heard in his life.  _ “You're right…”  _

Chanyeol clicked his tongue and pressed Baekhyun’s head beneath his chin with a sigh, “You sweet omega, don’t worry. Don't you ever worry. I’ll be here when the time comes.” 

_ “Now.”  _ Chanyeol added with a sigh, leaning back against the headboard and removing the laptop from the bed, “Nap time.”

_ “Yeol…”  _

“Sh,” Chanyeol leeched around Baekhyun’s waist, “Nap time.” 

The omega scowled but it quickly softened up when Chanyeol looked at him with actual tiredness in his eyes and a small pat to his pillow signalling for Baekhyun to lay down. 

“Fine.” Baekhyun puffed, “But let me check your stitches first.” 

Chanyeol hummed and shifted to lay on his back and tug his gown up to his ribs, blankets resting on his hips but it hardly mattered when Baekhyun had no idea of  _ personal  _ space and was touching the scar just above his boxers. 

Chanyeol's body shivered when Baekhyun’s fingertips brushed over his happy trail, “Ah, baby, you're being a bit..” 

“Huh?” The omega sent him a confused look, palm pressing into his hip and Baekhyun scrunched up his nose. “Sorry… do you… you not want me to-“

_ “Baek.”  _ Chanyeol shook his head and grabbed his chin, “You're just getting a bit…  _ feely.  _ You know what I mean?” 

Baekhyun had a confused look on his face before he gasped and his cheeks began to turn magenta, “I didn’t- I swear- I had no…  _ oh god.”  _

Chanyeol snorted and tugged his gown so he’d lay back down, “You're not a doctor, you know. You don’t need to keep checking them.” 

“I’ve had a lot of stitches, I know what they’re supposed to look like.” Baekhyun argued, but he turned to hide his pink face in Chanyeol's neck and the other began to laugh. 

“Ah, you’re too cute. You know we’ll have to talk about things like that eventually, right?” Chanyeol pressed a light kiss to the shell of his ear before sighing and rubbing between his shoulder blades, “I’m sorry for embarrassing you. It still feels weird to… I don’t know, think about intimacy and you in the same sentence, I don’t suppose we can just be like this forever. Best friends?”

The last bit was a lie. A complete lie and he knew it, but seeing Baekhyun’s reaction to him like that… it was a bit nerve wracking and upsetting even if he knew Baekhyun just wasn’t used to another person's body before. 

It wasn’t like he'd purposely tried to work him up, but it was important that Chanyeol find out what kind of boundaries Baekhyun wanted to have.

“W-What?” 

Chanyeol realized he’d fucked up and the omega had taken of the wrong way the second Baekhyun’s eyes went fearfully big. 

“You don’t-“

_ “Baby,  _ I just meant because you don’t have to…” Chanyeol cursed under his breath and cupped his cheek to angle Baekhyun to look at him seeing as the omega tried to roll away to hide in the pillows. “Sh. I want you. I do.”

Baekhyun scrunched his nose up in a way that suggested he was either going to cry or he disagreed.  _ “Not like that though… why would anyone want me like that?”  _

“Oh,  _ Bambi.”  _ Chanyeol sighed and slipped a hand behind Baekhyun’s neck to pet the back of his head, “You're gorgeous. Of course I want you, you're my mate. I didn’t mean I didn’t  _ want  _ to be intimate with you, I just meant it’s very… different.” 

“I don’t believe you.” Baekhyun said sadly, staring at a lose string on Chanyeol's collar. “You still treat me like you did before…” 

“Baek,” Chanyeol stifled a laugh in favor of smiling and petting the shell of his ear. “That’s because you’re still my best friend, and you’re still my baby. What? Because we’re mates I suddenly have to change how I act around you? What do you want me to do-“

_ “No..  _ I just…” Baekhyun shuffled and wrung his hands together before he swallowed hard and looked up at him, “You haven’t kissed me.” 

“Kissed you?” 

“Yeah.” The omega pressed his lips in a straight line, “Kyungsoo said Jongin kissed him right away when he found out they were mates… do you not  _ want  _ to?” 

Chanyeol blinked blankly a few times with disbelief covering his expression, what the  _ hell?  _ Baekhyun thought he didn’t want to kiss him? 

“Baekhyun, why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?” He demanded, thumb brushing back and forth on the soft skin just below Baekhyun’s ear.

The omega chewed on his lip for a moment before he raised his shoulders a tiny bit, “I don’t know, maybe I’m too inexperienced… or something.” 

“You, little duck, are just the sweetest person I’ve ever met.” Chanyeol released a soft laugh and shifted onto his elbow to hover a bit over him.

Baekhyun squeaked a soft noise of surprise and tugged on the blankets in his lap, “No… I’m really…  _ Chanyeol I’m really nervous!” _ He blurted, shutting his eyes tightly, “My heart is racing a lot, I might pass out.” 

Chanyeol seconded that because Baekhyun was just too cute for his own good like this. He was now clutching onto his down at the collar like he was having a hard time breathing, his cheeks were pale, and he had his eyes squeezed so hard shut that there were little crinkles beside them. 

“Relax, baby. I’m not going to kiss you.” 

“You…” Baekhyun peeked an eye open, “You're  _ not?” _

The alpha took a second to fix Baekhyun’s gown over his shoulder and hummed under his breath, “We can’t have you passing out.” 

Baekhyun gave a slow nod and the color began to flood back to his cheeks as he took a few deep breaths in and out. 

And then when the omega looked relatively calmed down, and when Baekhyun opened his mouth - presumably to ask why he was still hovering - Chanyeol surged down to press a quick, chaste kiss onto his pink lips. It was more than a second yet no more than two. 

Baekhyun’s eyes were  _ huge,  _ his cheeks were bright red, and his hands clenched into loose fists resting on his chest. 

“Now we can nap, Bambi.” Chanyeol crooned as he laid back down. 

_ “You said you weren’t gonna kiss me!”  _ Baekhyun yipped and shifted to sit up and hover over him instead,  _ “You liar!” _

“You were going to have an anxiety attack, so I fibbed a bit. But  _ hey  _ now your first kiss is out of the way and you don’t need to fuss so much, Baek.” 

The omega whined and flopped down onto his chest, but Chanyeol truthfully barely felt it due to Baekhyun being nothing more but skin and bones. 

He just chuckled when Baekhyun smacked his chest and reached down to grab onto Baekhyun’s hips and pull them on top of his own so he could lay utop him. 

“Okay, nap time, baby.” Chanyeol laughed and pressed a kiss to his temple.

“I’m not a baby, Chanyeol…” Baekhyun grumbled. 

Chanyeol just smiled, laying his chin to Baekhyun’s hair and rubbing down his arm, “I know. But I like naps  _ and  _ you like naps.” 

“I’m not really tired…” 

Now that, that was something he  _ never  _ heard from Baekhyun before. 

The omega a month ago would have passed out cold in his lunch the second his body said  _ you're tired,  _ and Baekhyun was known for his numerous naps. 

“Really?” Chanyeol asked as the omega shifted to look up at him, chin resting against Chanyeol's sternum. “You're really not tired?” 

“I’m not.” Baekhyun confirmed, his gaze dropping to Chanyeol's lips for a moment, “Can you do it again, or can I do it?” 

Chanyeol burst with chuckles, “Look at you healthy _ and _ being confident. I’m so proud of you, Bambi.” 

Baekhyun’s smile could have lit up an entire room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near~

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: Gigi_B56 - Come see sneak peeks of stories!
> 
> https://curiouscat.qa/Gigi_B56 - Ask me questions!


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